I grew up in several violent environments. when I was five years old, my father began drinking and would be aggressive and rude with my mother. When I turned twelve, he was able to stop, but I had threatened my school a couple days before, because I was upset with a lot of the students, and I grew up thinking that’s how you’re supposed to act when your upset, so I was sent to a treatment facility. After six months in treatment, I flipped out and destroyed a lot of property, and hurt a kid there, and I was sent to juvenile-hall. I was thirteen when I left there, and I was being transferred to a facility in Springville, Utah, called Somerset. I was there for four months, and I flipped out again and hurt one of the staff members, so I was transferred again to another facility in Provo, Utah, called Provo Canyon School. I just turned fourteen when I had arrived there, and for the next year I was beaten up by both the inmates, AND the staff-members, as well as being raped, shanked, choked, and mechanically-restrained. I’m sixteen now, and I just got out, and my dad’s struggling with his addiction, and his pretty stressed most of the time. My seventeen year old sister is high and/or drunk most of the time. Her fiance is usually drunk and/or high as well. My mother is always stressed out, and the kids at my school think I’m insane. I talked with my therapist, and he says that if I don’t feel comfortable at my home, then I could go to a place in Fairbanks, Alaska, (100 miles north of my town). I told him I would like to as long as it’s not a restrictive/threatening/violent/forceful environment. He told me that’s it’s pretty much just like my home just without the intoxicated/violent family members. I told him that I’d talk to my parents about it. My mom said that she’d be sad if I left, but she thinks it would be the best thing for me. My dad was drunk tonight, so she didn’t tell him yet, but I’m sure once he’s coherent again that he’d think it was a good idea as well. At the foster-home-type place, you’re allowed to go to public school, but I have absolutely no idea how average sixteen year olds are supposed to act. I am constantly training in martial arts, home defense tactics, combat shooting, SPEC-OPS physical training, cryptology, memorizing miniscule details of my surroundings, performing background searches on every new person I meet, checking every detail of whatever I’m about to eat, and the list goes on and on. I do all these things in order to significantly reduce the possibility of becoming a victim to violent/mentally unstable individuals. Now, I know very well that average teens most likely don’t do these things, and when I first got back to school, they thought that I was severely paranoid…and they’re probably right…but my “paranoia” has saved the lives of several third-parties as well as my own, so there’s not a chance that I’m going to stop being “paranoid”. My question is this: How can I still perform my preventive measures around others discreetly, and still seem like a normal teen once I move to Fairbanks?
What do teens usually wear? What books do they read? What movies do they watch? What hobbies do they enjoy? What music do they listen to? How to they talk? How do they carry themselves? Where do they like going? Why do they affiliate themselves with “cliques”? When do they hang-out? What kind of friendships do they form? Any other information would be highly appreciated. Thanks.