I am writing an english essay for college. It on “This I Believe” between 300-500 words, i am really really nervous about turning it in, can you read this and tell me what you think. Please. any critiques would be helpful.
When asked to write about what I believe, I’ll be honest, I drew a blank. It seemed like such a simple question. But it had to be something that I abide by everyday; it had to be something that filled every niche in my life. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t have been an adequate answer, not for this essay, and not for myself. I sat awake the night before this was due and thought to myself ‘what do I believe?’
I thought about my dad; he tries so hard to provide for our family, and we don’t always have an excess, but we have enough. One day he came home from work, kicked off his work boots, and peeled his sweat soaked tank-top off. I asked him why he worked so hard when he could get any number of jobs that pay the same for half the work. He laughed and said “Because I enjoy it; it makes me happy,” he said it as if he wondered why anyone would do anything but the thing that makes them happy.
It got me thinking that in order to be happy in life you have to do the thing that is true to yourself. That doesn’t just mean what you do for a living; it means everything from how you dress, to your morals and beliefs. You can be a long-haired hippy who loves to smoke grass, or a clean-cut businessman with never a hair out of place. It doesn’t matter. Too many people go through life with a preconceived notion in their head that they have to do what society expects of them, it is drilled in from birth. Do this, or don’t do that. You need this, or you don’t need that. Eventually many people fall into the role that is expected of them, and that role which is true to themselves falls to the back of their mind and is marked off as the frivolous ruminations of a naive child.
It is one of the greatest individual triumphs in life to become happy. And to be happy you have to be true to yourself despite what others think. This is what I believe.
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English Essay Help (college)?
Posted on November 1, 2010.
Think not what you believe, but more of what you want to achieve. They are going to be more less the same. If you want to be a millionaire: you believe that money means happiness. If you want to be homeless: you believe in not giving a ****. If you want to be happy: you believe in happiness.
hope this helped
It’s fine 🙂
hand it in
I took analytical writing, so I could jump all over this paper, but I think it depends on what type of English class you’re taking. Overall, I thought it was honest and well thought out. The only things I caught were “…and peeled his sweat soaked tank-top off.” It ends in a preposition. Big no-no. The second sentence in the last paragraph should start with “To be happy…” It makes the sentence stronger and you shouldn’t start sentences with a conjunction. “He laughed and said “Because I enjoy it; it makes me happy,” he said it as if he wondered why anyone would do anything but the thing that makes them happy.” is a run on sentence. Oh, and “But it had to be something that I abide by everyday…” starts with a conjunction too.
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I don’t believe you.
***Furthermore, what everyone else failed to mention is that your entire first paragraph has nothing to do with what you believe, it’s just you talking about thinking about what to write about for your essay. It’s filler. You need to delete that and actually write something on topic to contribute to your word count.