when I was younger, I use to know what it feels like to fall for a girl. Like I would fall for like A LOT OF GIRLS.. Now it’s hard.. I’m a senior in high school, there’s a lot of pretty girls, but none of them give off that vibe that their super special I go to an asian school and I guess all the girls kind of look the same, so that might be why I don’t see any one as unique..Could it be my medication? well, ever since I toke adderall 2 years ago, I lost my sex drive, I couldn’t fall madly in love with any girl anymore… I’m heartless now, I use to be super sensitive.. Now I feel smarter, I’m also very egotistic, it may not seem like it here, but I can’t stand anyone thinking of me in a inauspicious or resentful way because it just makes me go insane. It’s so ridiculous how everyone gets judged so easily in high school and how almost the entire school is so close minded. I have been labeled many names.. Asshole,Crackhead,Jerk,…. It’s funny how everyone judges me by my appearance, I really have no idea who I am, pathetic huh? My memory is so horrible and my personality changes so rapidly plus the drugs I’ve done to relieve myself to feel normal also screwed me over because when I was younger I was diagnosed as ADHD and I REFUSED to take my medication because I thought it would put me in the image of INFERIOR which made me pop and I yelled at my mom when she tried to give me it. Now I came back to the very same doctor who tried to help me and I toke the medication and it opened up my mind more, OF COURSE I STILL feel DEAD INSIDE…., because I know I have lost my life, my true personality, my true emotions. The old me has died, the old me was a horrible person, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still died and I am not exgaerating. the people who read my Essays for anything label me as a genius or he’s so smart…. The people who don’t don’t know anything about me and judge me by my actions and my appearance label me as ” looks so gangster” ” hes an asshole” “he’s so cold( Of course I’m cold, I might even be insane, of course I don’t pop and I can hold my temper, I’m pretty sure anyone in my position would go insane, of course no one in high school takes anything to perspective) My best friend of like 13 years backstabbed me, that tore me apart because I always thought of him as my brother, but then he was just another WANNABE gangster, he joined a gang and my family is kind of affiliated with some.., but I think gangs are just a group of losers united.. Kind of ironic how I would say that because almost everyone in school labels me as a gangster.. LOL. So what now? This is pathetic, I’m listing my problems to people I don’t even know because no one in my family understands me, I have friends, I have a reputation at high school, I am certainly not the loser, more like the funny asshole =] I love how it feels to have no personality, I have a personality, but I just don’t know who I am. Probably because of the drugs I’ve done in the past. I am a VERY WEIRD PERSON, Not socially awkward, I’m actually REALLY talkative and friendly now, I just have no idea who I am and anyone who challenges me or tests me because I don’t tell everyone that I’m a psycho and of course I understand there’s no point in telling anyone that because your enemies will not believe it, so I have to show it even though I understand violence is childish and futile, but I still do it for my pride in being the most feared, I’m not bragging, but I’m kind of known as “not to be ****** with” there’s reasons why but I don’t wanna explain here, I doubt that many people will read this anyways because it’s too long. I’m just leaving my biography for anyone who is interested which I think won’t be many. I guess were all hoping for that miraculous amazing answer that gives us an epiphany, but that usually rarely happens in this site, where 80% of answers are ridiculous..