Okay, so I’m going to give a whole lowdown on my spiritual bind that I’m for whoever cares to listen and help me out. I don’t know what to do and am being pressured from different sides in terms of religion.
My mom was Jewish and I went to a Jewish Sunday school until around 4th grade, though I was never particularly religious. 4 years ago when I was in 6th grade, my mom died from a long battle with cancer and my sister converted to Christianity not long before that. My dad is not very religious though he comes from a Catholic family.
I went a handful of times to Church over about two years following my mom’s death because my sister wanted me to. After that I stopped going because it felt exactly like my old Jewish Sunday school, where whatever religious talk the preachers/rabbis/whatever said was accepted by all, only this time they were also preaching about Jesus. This made me feel weird about it, and gave me a sense that it wasn’t totally genuine (this Church is apparently the best church in the area that I live in, Dallas).
I never really got explanation or anything over why the teachings I was given in Church about Jesus and whatnot were true as opposed to what I learned being brought up Jewish, or vice versa. To put it really simply, I was just expected to accept whatever I was told.
This caused me to think a lot about religion and god and the nature of all that. I mean whose to say that either side is right? They both are apparently speaking the word of God. It seemed like a question with no answer.
As I pondered the question, I started looking at man’s history of religion in general, at evolution, at a history of polytheism in all parts of the world, that only converted after they were forced to when conquered by a monotheistic culture. I decided not to affiliate myself with anyone, and remain agnostic.
I am open to the possibility of God giving me a sign, or someone showing me the light, but I just have yet to see any such signs.
Over Christmas, however, my Grandmother, who is admittedly very controlling and opinionated (very much like Lucille from Arrested Development if you watch that show :/), told me that her only wish before she dies is to see me baptized. I know she means well, but I also think it was not her place to say that. Nonetheless, it’s made me feel very guilty the more I thought about it, which I kind of think was her intention.
I don’t feel any connection with any religion at the moment. I’ve been to Church and I’ve been to Synagogue. None of it feels right to me. I don’t really know what to do. If God came down and gave me a sign I’d be open to it, as would I if someone truly enlightened me or something, but until then I’m stuck sitting here feeling guilty and conflicted.
If you’ve read this far I thank you so much, and I would appreciate some advice on the matter. I’d love to know what you think or what you’d do if you were me, or anything really.
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I’m Agnostic Who Is In A Religiously Conflicted Bind. Would Appreciate Any Advice From All Sides.?
Posted on March 31, 2011.
Those who know God have experienced the fact of his presence; such God-knowing mortals hold in their personal experience the only positive proof of the existence of the living God which one human being can offer to another. The existence of God is utterly beyond all possibility of demonstration except for the contact between the God-consciousness of the human mind and the God-presence of the Thought Adjuster (Spiri) that indwells the mortal intellect and is bestowed upon man as the free gift of the Universal Father.
Belief has attained the level of faith when it motivates life and shapes the mode of living. The acceptance of a teaching as true is not faith; that is mere belief. Neither is certainty nor conviction faith. A state of mind attains to faith levels only when it actually dominates the mode of living. Faith is a living attribute of genuine personal religious experience. One believes truth, admires beauty, and reverences goodness, but does not worship them; such an attitude of saving faith is centered on God alone, who is all of these personified and infinitely more.
The Universal Father has poured out himself, as it were, to make all creation rich in personality possession and potential spiritual attainment. God has given us himself that we may be like him, and he has reserved for himself of power and glory only that which is necessary for the maintenance of those things for the love of which he has thus divested himself of all things else.
5. THE ETERNAL AND DIVINE PURPOSE
There is a great and glorious purpose in the march of the universes through space. All of your mortal struggling is not in vain. We are all part of an immense plan, a gigantic enterprise, and it is the vastness of the undertaking that renders it impossible to see very much of it at any one time and during any one life. We are all a part of an eternal project which the Gods are supervising and outworking. The whole marvelous and universal mechanism moves on majestically through space to the music of the meter of the infinite thought and the eternal purpose of the First Great Source and Center.
The eternal purpose of the eternal God is a high spiritual ideal. The events of time and the struggles of material existence are but the transient scaffolding which bridges over to the other side, to the promised land of spiritual reality and supernal existence. Of course, you mortals find it difficult to grasp the idea of an eternal purpose; you are virtually unable to comprehend the thought of eternity, something never beginning and never ending. Everything familiar to you has an end.
Here’s the protestant Christian perspective on why to be a Christian. Just be warned, it’s huge.
Don’t be guilt tripped in to doing something that doesn’t feel right to you.
Hi, I have a suggestion of a web-site I think could be helpful to you. Since you come from a Jewish background. Please visit http://www.jewsforjesus.org this site has many answers as to why a Jewish person would convert to Christianity. Please at least take a look, you have nothing to lose. Thank you.
One should never be guilted or coerced into a belief system. In fact, you CAN’T really believe something just because someone told you to anyway.
A loving family member should never attempt to force you into belief. My own grandmother attempted this at one point with me, but I simply told her that you can’t force a belief and I was not willing to perform a religious ceremony I didn’t believe in just to please her, even though I loved her very much. She ended up respecting that I told her the truth (she had wanted me to have a Catholic wedding).
If it doesn’t feel right to you, don’t do it. It is your life, and no one else’s. The very reason that I am no longer a theist is because of a story similar to yours- years of questioning and study provided me with no logical alternative but to admit that there was no reason to believe in gods. Keep reading, keep studying, and above all keep asking the tough questions. You answers may or may not end up the same as mine, but that is the only way to remain true to yourself.
First it is not anyone place to tell you to get baptized or not. Regardless if they are family or not. People must not tell you why you should join a religion or not. People can give you information about their religion but forcing others does not justify anyone in any means. You have to feel comfortable on what you want to do. That would probably make you spiritually happy and connected to God or the universe. This is a decision you and you alone can make. If you passively go and do what other people tell you to do when it comes to religion or anything. You might end up making them happy but what about you will you be happy? Think carefully on what you want regardless if your grandma, sister or anyone is on their deathbed They trying to make you feel a guilt trip. Do is what best for you. If you are not ready yet. You are not ready the world has many religions explore and learn. Be open minded to all. You have experience with christianity, JJudaism, and catholic religion from your father side stay open minded and keep searching.
Ok, I read and I will respond as best I can…. First let me say : Let go of the guilt, it does no one any good…. guilt is NOT part of the game plan….. My suggestion is simply this .. Go with what you know !! Study more and get deeper into that which you seek…. If you are OPEN to the idea of God, by my experience, that means God is knocking on your door and heart…. Let Him do the changing… You do the research…… Just leave it where it is, OPEN…. I can also tell ya for sure, it can NOT be forced….Slow down and calm down…. There is really nothing more to say…. go in peace…. God bless
There is some good advice here. I was raised Catholic but now believe that humans try to compartmentalize God into our own vision/understanding of what He/She is. We have made God too small and forgotten that God can be all things to all peoples.
Yeah you’re on your way to truth. It is very hard w/religous upbrining and family that perpetuates the fear and guilt to keeps you enslaved.
Past that I would say continue to search the truth. Be careful of many claims and pressures. Just learn and think and put yourself in the shoes of those who wrote and what they saw. Recognize the world I’d much larger than the jewish or christian world you have been raised and influenced by.
Research history (and pre-history). And be open. You will be surprised what has been in front of your and other eyes yet disguarded.
My opinions and beliefs should not be influencing to you. Just search the human history. That afterall is what they told you “they” do/did, right. So go search. Be open that human civilization IS older than you were taught in both mainstream science and religions. Just look at the leftover evidence. Then ponder what you want to. Find out how these religions came to be by historical records not pressures from a group of “blind faithful”.
Hi,
I think you are doing the best you can right now. I think the most important thing for you is to keep believing in the creator of your world, God. Even if Jesus were real or wasn’t, the main purpose of his preachings were to tell others of his father, your father, the creator. Among other things he preached about. I don’t blame you for having questions. I was always raised a christian but in the last few years I have even questioned the authenticity of Jesus as the son of God, the messiah. I have read the rules regarding prophecy and he never fulfilled all of them, regardless of what other Christians want to believe.
Just remember, the most important thing is to give your love and devotion to the first God of the bible. The big man. He created you, not Jesus.
Here is my advice. I say you choose one week and every night you pray that if there is a God that he would reveal himself to you. About the baptism, don’t feel forced into it because it something you should do only if you feel the need to.
I read everything & I realised you were smart when you said:
‘I never really got explanation or anything over why the teachings I was given in Church about Jesus and whatnot were true as opposed to what I learned being brought up Jewish, or vice versa.’
If people can never justify their beliefs rationally what does that tell you? You are smart so I won’t answer that for you.
One other thing: You KNOW your Grandmother is using the guilt trip tactic because you are smart. Is it fair? Is your life YOUR choice or hers? I won’t tell you what to do – or not do. You are clearly smart & therefore know for yourself although without even having read any other comments here I’d bet someone thinks they know better than you do…
You label yourself as an agnostic, but I think a “Spiritualist” would be more accurate. You believe that there’s “something” higher up the ladder than Man, but you haven’t defined it in your mind yet. You may never get to that point, but you’re sufficiently open-minded that if something made an impact on you or your life, you’d be willing to accept that there might be a Higher Power.
There are a lot of people that have those same feelings. They can’t accept the dogma of any particular religion, and prefer to keep an open mind on the subject of spirituality. Each one of them has an idea of what they think a God might be like, but can’t (or won’t) give it a physical presence. Nothing wrong with that, either. If that’s how you feel, just accept that your mind is still searching for something that you can accept as a Higher Power. You may never find it, but the fact that you’re open to the possibilities that one exists is enough.
I understand how you are feeling and even though it seems awful, I think you are on the right path! I think it’s perfectly natural for you to want to “understand” instead of “take it on faith” or blindly accept either of your family’s religious doctrines. You need time to experience the world, reflect on what different traditions have to say, and decide if you think they are valid, appropriate for you.
I can’t believe your Grandma said that! I mean, I can, because I know she means well. But, gaaah, the pressure! Baptism SHOULD be the first sacrament taken in a life-long dedication to the Trinity as an earnest, seriously professed Catholic, not something you do to placate Grandma, or to cover your butt–just in case St. Paul real does run that tight of a ship up at the pearly gates. Otherwise, it cheapens the act. If you told your Grandma you want to wait until you are certain and you are very seriously considering your faith right now, she ought to lay off.
I know that their are a lot of web sites about God and i think most all are garbage but i have found one that is in no way what i believe short of the plain truth i have searched for the truth for years now and and have read the Bible at least two times cover to cover this site has nothing contradicting God`s word it may be worth a look see just go to “The Good News About God “