Im going to be honest I have not been the good guy but what i need is honest answers. Me and my girlfriend have been together almost 9 years and even though i love her i have cheated throughout these years a lot. We have a son together who is now two. Couple of months ago she admitted to having sex with someone else out of anger (after once again catching me affiliating with a girl I cheated on her with multiple times) . After realizing now after all this time that i don’t want to lose her and i want to settle down, move in together and raise our son I’ve become insecure. Im always thinking now why isn’t she texting me back, why hasn’t she called me in X amount of time, where is she? etc etc… It’s weird because when i was cheating i didn’t think of ANY of this. I didn’t care didn’t even want to be on the phone with her for more than 1 minute.This is due to me talking to various girls and not caring, but now that im focused just on her its hard. I think my problem is because I know ALL the stuff I’ve done behind her back(which is A LOT) and i’m afraid now im going to be played. She assures me that she loves me and wants to marry me too but i think its my own guilt that’s playing me right now. What do I do? just take it one day at a time? learn to trust? I’m really trying to get my act together PLEASE HELP
if she plays you she has a right too. you cheated on her for years
totally agree with ghettoh fabulous. I’m sorry but thats why there is such a thign such as KARMA. 😉
dont cheat girls…
You don’t love her. Stop fooling yourself.
I hope you see the irony here. You’re saying it’s OK when YOU cheat, but suddenly it’s wrong when your girlfriend does it to you. That’s called being a hypocrite. If your girlfriend cheats on you, why do you have any right to complain? What’s good for the gander is arguably good for the goose……..
I’m not saying your girlfriend WILL cheat, But I think if you want your girlfriend to respect you, you really need to chill the hell out. Today would be a good time.
I think that when you treat people with constant distrust and suspicion, they eventually figure out that it doesn’t matter whether they’re honest or not. You’ll treat them like they’re deceiving you no matter what.
Note that people will treat you with honesty and respect when you give them an INCENTIVE to be honest. If you treat your girlfriend with suspicion all the time and keep trying to control her like child, she’ll stop bothering to EARN your trust.
I think you didn’t care before, because it didn’t help you get what you wanted. That was: attention and sex from as many women as possible. Caring about your girlfriend wasn’t convenient at the time. Also it didn’t really occur to you that you could get hurt. You’re insecure now because you’ve realized that you’re vulnerable and you realize that being cheated on HURTS!
It’s OK to feel insecure and vulnerable, but you have to realize that your girlfriend is not to blame for your insecurity. Your insecurities and fears are YOUR responsibility and it’s up to YOU to stand up to them. If you actually want to be a better person in the future, you cannot let your insecurities rule you.