I’ve been out of work for two years. Living on savings and unemployment, so I’m getting by for now. The past two years have been hellish. Lots of isolation and stress. Moved to NY to be closer to family, but that didn’t help completely b/c some of my close family does not see me (lifestyle differences or laziness on their part). Ex: haven’t seen my four grandkids in four months, despite being a short subway ride away and asking my son repeatedly to let me visit.
Last month I got a callback from a job inquiry (in itself a big deal, cause my field is pretty niche). The director of the agency/think tank said they had possible positions I”d be interested in. I followed up, the hiring people said they just needed the director’s official okay, and that was a month ago. My stuff has gone into a black hole and my emails to the director unanswered. I don’t know what happened, but the job is going off into the sunset without me astride.
After these last two years, this was the closest I”ve come to a job (and in my field no less!). I was okay before this all came up (had learned how to cope over the last two years), but my hopes getting up and then going nowhere has really thrown me for a loop. I have an upset stomach alot and have a hard time getting out. The situation with my family is also weighing heavily.
I know that some will suggest looking outside my field (I’m preparing to do so by getting recertified in what I got my MA in instead of my PhD field), so that’s already in motion.
Others may suggest getting together with those in my situation – honestly, just thinking about doing that depresses me more, and I know that I’m not alone in feeling that way.
This isn’t really about practical suggestions – it’s about dealing with the grief that my concurrent almost-job hopes dashing and my absent family and grandkids are bringing up in me. There’s no happy pill that works for me and sometimes the sadness is just crushing. I do take care of myself (excercise and eating right), but sometimes (like this past week as the days ticked by again with no response from the job people) it is just sooo hard.
Thanks for reading and listening.