Towards the end of 2011, after I’d experienced a really horrible break up and very heavy period of sadness, I finally picked myself up when I decided that there was nothing else left for me to do than to get away from home and travel abroad. The excitement of meeting new people and finding my ‘niche’ in life was spurring me on, as I imagined that I’d meet a charming guy and find a job I loved and return home renewed.
However in the past month I was enlightened to some medical issues which require further treatment. In just the past few weeks all of my travel savings have been used up, and I just feel completely lost. My motivation is gone, and suddenly I’ve become overwhelmed by fear that I’ll never go through with my plans, or I will and I’ll end up feeling completely alone.
Furthermore, a week ago I got back together with the guy I broke up with. The bond between us is still there, strong as ever. However I feel that this attachment I’m feeling towards him is making it even harder. Having him back is making me dread the day I leave, because I know how difficult it was to say goodbye to him the first time.
I need advice from anyone who’s travelled, or planning to travel, overseas by themselves. How did you pluck up the courage to leave everything behind? How did you keep yourself happy and confident while abroad? How do I get myself motivated again to keep saving money? How do I get the courage to leave the guy I feel so strongly for?
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Afraid Of Travelling Overseas Alone. How Do I Find The Courage To Go?
Posted on February 5, 2012.
Let me start off by saying I’m no expert, and what I put here is just my opinion. That said, let me answer your points in order.
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had medical issues. I know how disheartening, exhausting and draining, emotionally and financially, illness can be. I’m glad to hear you’re better. In terms of depleted funds: how much do you want to travel? It sounds to me that you still really want to go, so my advice is to put a little, or as much as you can, aside each week instead of spending it on meals out, for instance. It’s amazing how it builds up.
I’m glad you got back together with your boyfriend. Perhaps I’ve misunderstood, but is there no way he could travl with you? I understand it’s hard to leave everything behind, and separation anxiety can be a killer. If he could come with you for at least part of the time, it would also address the issue of you being anxious about going on your own.
Assuming you are going to make a go of it on your own: first and foremost, don’t worry. It’s natural to feel that you’ll never settle abroad, you’ll never do it, you’ll fail. You won’t. My advice: look at it as an adventure. If you’re travelling somewhere that speaks a different language, acquire at least the basics of that language before you go. It will make things SO much easier. Make sure you have copies of any documents you might need: visas, passports, work permits and so on. As for leaving everything behind, remember: things will be there when you get back. Your family and friends probably aren’t going anywhere, and even if they were, you can talk to them any time. All you need is a computer or phone. My guess is that once you get to wherever you’re planning to go, you won’t need anything to keep you happy and motivated because you’ll be in an exciting new place, meeting exciting new people and having the time of your life. Like you, I was extremely worried before moving abroad, but within a fortnight of completing the move I was happier than ever.
I wish you, with all sincerity, the very best of luck. Travel safe!