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What Do You Think About This Rap Song I Wrote?

Let me know what you honestly think about it. Thanks
Instrumental: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m436cKfn1pU
Out of sight, out of mind,
out of time, to decided.
Do we run?
Should I hide?
For the rest, of my life.
x2
Sarah was a little girl without care in the world
Till her daddy died she cried visions swirled curled against her Mom
Holding palms to keep her calm tears leaked down both her cheeks
She didn’t speak for weeks except for shrieks she made while she was asleep
She kept discrete dealing with her feelings kneeling praying for any kind of healing
Hoping her daddy was hearing not knowing her Mom heard her through the ceiling
It killed her seeing her daughter grieving so she got back into dating making
Attempt’s to find a husband but found no one that could replace the space
Of Sarah’s father but they were blazing through their dollars, it was hard raising a toddler alone
They had to file for loans just to keep on their phone, they started becoming all bone
They couldn’t afford good food, Sarah’s Mom whored stripping nude to pay their dues
She started talking to clients and met an appliance man named Dan
Who asked for her hand with a wedding band and she said yes as Sarah fell to stress
Out of sight, out of mind,
out of time, to decided.
Do we run?
Should I hide?
For the rest, of my life.
x2
Dan was a ticking time bomb always abusing Sarah’s Mom
She would vomit in disgust that she had fallen for his trust
He was in it for lust but she needed him for bills
Sarah would get the chills watching her dig in the pill bottle
What a model for a child Sarah no longer smiled
all the while at school she felt isolated and degraded
That her Mom affiliated with a person that she hated
Sarah persuaded her Mom that they needed to move on
So upon getting home they packed up all of their things
Then the door bell rang it was Dan he had forgot his key
He looked through the window saw the bags and screamed violently
Don’t you dare ******* leave! He covered his fist over with his sleeve
Punched out the glass then went niave grasping the neck of his wife
Sarah was shocked in fright watching him stop her life
She quickly darted grabbing a knife and started stabbing it into his wind pipe
Out of sight, out of mind,
out of time, to decided.
Do we run?
Should I hide?
For the rest, of my life.
x2

No Responses to “What Do You Think About This Rap Song I Wrote?”

  1. Chris says:

    You Didn’t Write Thiss -_- Liar !!!!!!! >:(

  2. RasTaofa says:

    The story has depth, but the words don’t flow. You’re not rapping for your english teacher, are you? Change up the format, every line doesn’t have to be a grammatically correct sentence.

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