Lets just say, a young guy with autism, is struggling a bit, he has anxiety and depressed, his autism is just apsergers syndrome.
He tried college, had a panic attack for a week.
He now is unsure wether to go back, it’s a course he really wanted to do. His dad tells him that he won’t cope, and that he should do charity work.
His mum tells him jobs are hard to come by and he will be constantly rejected all the time by paid work.
His dad wants him to attend a scheme for people with disabilities.
He phones his mum and dad up and explains to them that he is confused with his life. He wants to go back to college, he feels like a failure, he also wants to do what they don’t want him to do. He feels controlled and manipulated. He doesn’t want to follow their advice.
He has a holiday booked with his father next week, which his dad has already paid for which he would have to cancel and lose the money if he went back to college.
The young man is getting text messages from the college who are concerned he has dropped out, even though the father has phoned up explaining he won’t be coming in anymore.
He young man is worried that he will be controlled more and more and he is desperate to find independance, find his niche in life, and be happy and confident. His parents make this increasingly hard for him, he doesn’t know wether to trust them or not.
Is he being manipulated here. If he is being manipulated, why is he being so? Is this fair, or are their excuses, valid reasons?
What does he do in this situation? What avenue does he take, how does he become confident and happy, what is he doing wrong?
Please answer honestly, and give your opinions.
Thankyo
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Is This Man Being Manipulated Here?
Posted on October 13, 2012.
He needs to be evaluated by a psychologist or a person on that fill. Yes his mother and father are doing more damage to him. What’s going to happen to him when they are not around? I think they are discouraging more instead of helping him. He is not doing anything wrong but listening to their parents. He probably need a special school and medication and I guarantee you he will be OK.
Go to askyou.com or heath.com and get some information about autistm.
No really on point for this board. Try reposting in Psychology or one of the chat rooms.
There is a considerable diversity of behaviour among humans, on just about every dimension of behaviour. Some people naturally feel happy an secure, no matter what their circumstances. Other people feel cautious and detached, even when to an onlooker, everything seems okay.
There’s no need to beat yourself up about how you feel and how you behave. As long as you haven’t broken any laws, you’re within the “acceptable” range of human behaviour.
Diagnoses of autism and Asperger’s Syndrome have become very common in recent years – it is probably over-diagnosed, because there is a lot of social pressure to “fit in” and be like everyone else; when in fact, some people just don’t feel the same strong need for human contact that other people feel. That’s not autism, that’s just being a bit different.
At the same time, it can be easy to retreat into a shell and get stuck in cyclical patterns of behaviour which don’t always give us pleasure, satisfaction or happiness. Eventually you may need to confront a few fears and patterns of negative thinking, in order to make a good life for yourself.
Dropping out of college is fine. You’re a young guy and you have lots of time to sort things out (even though it probably doesn’t seem like it now). The most important thing in life is to be happy and comfortable, not complete a degree as soon as you can. Just tell the college and your parents “I am confused and unhappy, I need to work out what the best path for me is”. They will try to give you advice, because likely they care about you and love you (well, your parents anyway :). Their advice may not be well-informed or the best advice yoiu can get – accept that they mean well, but don’t feel bad if you reject their advice.
Your situation is not that unusual. Lots of people go through similar experiences, all the time. They are unique to each individual but part of a normal pattern of human life.
I recommend you try to make contact with a counsellor or psychologist. Not because you have a “mental problem”, you probably don’t; but to get properly diagnosed for Aspergers Syndrome, and in the very likely case you are not literally not a sufferer of Asperger’s, but rather, one of the many people who is cautious about social relationships, you can get some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (aka ‘CBT’) which shows you how to deal with the world, given your true nature.
Hope this helps. Every good wish …