Coming to college, I thought I would find my niche and have a lot of fun. It was off to a great start, but recently I haven’t been feeling the best vibes. I had medical complications and that definitely through me for a loop, and I’m still dealing with the aftermath of that. But what has been bugging me more is that I still haven’t found my place and I feel left out. People seem to be making friends and going out and having fun together. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends, but they aren’t really the going out type.Also, because I’m friends with them, other people kind of stopped asking me to go out. A lot of people from my hometown hang out and never ask me to come with. I thought I would be really in to school spirit, but I have only gone to one game. As much as I want to make this work, I can’t help but wonder if I made the wrong choice as far as schools, or if this is just a phase. Advice?
I didn’t have trouble fitting in freshman year, but I didn’t like my school (it was a small, private, religious school), so I transferred out. Moving schools (5 states away) in the middle of Sophomore year was more difficult. I’m pretty social, so I honestly just asked people if they knew of stuff going on, and met people through other people. I’m also big into community service, so I joined a community service club and made many friends that way.
Honestly, not everyone in college cares about parties or football games, and it sounds like your friends are those people. I know I used to be big into tail gating, and now I only really attend the big games. There’s nothing wrong if you don’t want to be a party person, or tailgate, but if you do, you just need to meet people who enjoy these things as well. Unlike what you may have experienced in high school, you don’t have to have one group of friends that all get along. Keep your current friends and do what you like doing with them when with them, and with your party friends, go to parties.
To meet people, you can join clubs on campus (or even out in the community), strike up a conversation with someone in class, join an intramural team, or ask to sit with and strike up a conversation with someone when you go to lunch. You can also form study groups for your classes and get to know people that way. Once you meet one person, you can be introduced to more people, and through them you can be introduced to more people.
I’m sure that it doesn’t help that you’ve been sick. I was horribly sick all summer (heart related), and didn’t have time to see my friends, which kind of weakened some friendships. Now I can’t even drink alcohol, which means if I think I may be tempted to, I can’t even go out now.
If I were you, I’d stick it out another semester and try some of these ideas out. Additionally, this is a time you figure yourself out – give it time, you may figure out you’re not a party person. If you are still unhappy and you feel you’ve given it some time, then transfer to a school you think you’ll be happier. Don’t worry about your hometown people – most people (like myself) have never even been to school with people from home.