basically it’s about two rival gangs meeting their end due to a vengeful ghost from their past lifetime.
arjun,roshan and freddy were good friends,until they realised the potential of drug market in the city.arjun and roshan make a gang for themselves while freddy teams up with abhi and gautum(two close friends).abhi has always loved this girl shreya but she loves arjun and doesn’t actually notice abhi.gautum has a phobia of ghosts from his childhood experiences which is a secret only abhi knows.the two gangs fight over the drug market in the city countless times without anyone actually winning.then one day shreya accepts abhi’s love but makes it necessary for abhi to kill freddy for her as she convinces him freddy has been misbehaving to her for sometime.convinced by this abhi devices a plan to kill freddy and put the blame gautum for it.the night of the murder comes.it’s gautum’s bd and abhi arrives at their place with drinks.now abhi plans to summon the ghost of a young man who died years ago at the place their staying.using this ghost abhi hopes to make gautum go out of control and in between this confusion plans to kill freddy with a knife and then finally placing the knife on gautum’s hands.after a few drinks abhi summons the ghost avoiding gautum’s dissapproval.the ghost appears on the mirror in purple.gautum becomes insane.freddy is killed.but abhi feels guilty for killing his friend.he forgets the rest of his plan.now he informs shreya of the murder and she tells him of the deal she made with arjun for her love.abhi looses all sense and the ghost starts teasing him.now the ghost tells him a story about his life and how he was killed by 6
of his so called friends.abhi vaguely listens but driven mad he commits suicide.the ghost just looks on and smiles.shreya calls arjun and reports the news of freddy’s death.arjun overjoyed at his enemy’s defeat now tells shreya how he used her for his plans.guilt overcomes her and she ends her life.at this point arjun is safe and all his enemies are dead or mad.but roshan arjun’s right hand starts feeling sorry for his old friend and angry at arjun’s evil ways.he kills arjun and moves his body to where the others are.once there he leaves the body and carefully places the knife in gautum’s hands.the ghost having dissappeared for a while now reappears and appears happy that his revenge is quinched by fate.
don’t worry if there are some logical problems to this story.i will make up for it.tell me if this is a good story.you can tell me your suggestions like altering a particular part of the story or additional characters.backstory for each character.like why roshan stands with arjun other than freddy first time.filling up the ghost’s story with the other characters in their past life keeping roshan in a positive role as he is the only survivor at the end of this.also does this story show any resemblence to other stories?is there a story with gangs and ghosts other than this?
thankyou in advance……….
Too many grammatical errors, confusing description of characters, try using his/her instead of names, boring writing style, there is a need for big words. Ghosts, really man. Too short descriptions.
Trite, mundane, scattered, juvenile. That’s what I think.
Overdone, boring, how many words? Less than 50,000, forget it.
You do know about punctuation?
I sound mean and nasty, if an agent picked it up, they wouldn’t be that nice, it would go into the trash can.