I live in another city than my boyfriend because I moved away from my home to attend university. I moved before I started dating him, and before we really even knew each other well for that matter. I go back almost every weekend and stay with him, and he comes in to see me once during the week. We only live an hour a way so it’s not that far away, and seeing one another three days a week is pretty good. But the thing is before we were dating I turned him down for a long while because I have a preference for Asian guys, and I was honest with him about this when I turned him down. I don’t know it seemed like a better way of doing things. ” It’s not that you’re not a good guy, or that you’re not attractive, it’s just that you don’t really fit into my niche or so to speak”. But he was nice enough to me, and persistent enough to win me over in the end, what can I say.
But the thing is, I think it still stuck with him and well…. now he’s a bit paranoid. It started jokingly with us watching TV, and whenever an Asian guy would pop up he’d be like. “Oh no! You can’t watch this! You’ll realize you like Asians better and run off on me lol” and we’d laugh, and I’d be like “oh yeah, just look at him (like an 80 year old guy), solely based on the fact that he’s Asian I find him attractive!” he’d be like “NOOOOOOOOOO!” and we laughed and it was over. And paired with that he found out….how do I say this, my drive is quite high, and I enjoy what we do together, and I like to enjoy it a lot. So for whatever reason that got him thinking that I have had lots of partners before….which is a little insulting considering I had told him that I had only ever had one boyfriend before, and it was for like 1 year, which is true.
So with that, and a little tuff we got into after he kinda implied I was heavy jokingly (which I’m not -.-), I said that his tackle was small to make a point. (A boyfriend telling his girlfriend she’s fat is like a girlfriend telling her boyfriend his junk is small). I clearly said that that was the point and that’s not what I actually think, we apologized to one another and I thought it was over. But now he’s got it in his head that.
A: I don’t find him attractive
B: I’m crazy horny all the time
C: I think his junk is too small
To finally, he has it in his head that I have an F buddy in the city to keep me while he’s away….honestly. Facepalm worthy? Yes, yes I think so.
I never thought that he was so self conscious, but I guess it makes sense. He is a slim guy who’s friend’s beat on him all the time cause he’s not as built, and make fun of him for it. And whenever he gets drunk he always talks about how happy he is that I gave him a chance, and how I’m too good for him, and how beautiful I am and all this junk. I don’t think that he 100% believes it, but it’s a “joke” that comes out a little too much.
I tried to shake it out of his head with sarcasm by saying DRENCHING WITH SARCASM “OH YEAH! Gonna go back to my apartment and play with the stash of random naked men I keep hidden around my house, that you’ve never noticed before. OH YEAH! BIG BLACK MEN! ASIAN MEN! You name it!” I couldn’t have been more sarcastic, but even though I don’t think he fully 100% thinks I’m cheating on him, It still hurts that’s it’s even in the back of his mind. And it’s all so stupid ’cause he’s the one that even started the replacement partner crap. He would tease me about me being his “weekend girlfriend” and how the “others” are going to be jealous. I don’t take it seriously, why does he?
What should I do? Just sitting down with him and straight up saying IM NOT CHEATING ON YOU, seems dumb over something that itself is so dumb.