Affiliate Marketing Secrets

Before you read please keep in mind I just randomly started writing…there’s no basis. XD Also, if he seems weird, he was meant to be that way.
What do I need to improve on? I know for a fact there’s something. XD Thank you very much!
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“I am but a humble servant to the King, his stepping stool and his conscience, for he remembers naught but the pinched shoes he slipped on that morning. Dearest fate, why do you hate me so? To have such an ill-minded father!” He released his eyes, sensing that he had lost his audience of a single man, and continues on. “I shall not waste my breath nevermore, especially on such fickle audience,” He grumbled, clapping his pocket watch as if to check the hour. “Sad is the day that such a proper tailor as I has yet to be paged by the King.”
He continued down the cobbled road, thirsty for excitement. “Oh dearest God above, may a lady trip her way under my elbow.” As he turned the corner with such a bounce to be seen as a madman, a brown bob of hair knocked into his elbow with a force like ten single men. “Well, I hadn’t meant literally but at least she had turned up.” The once ashy hair was now a face, large blue eyes and filled cheeks. “You will not address me as such, mister.” Now the one to fall was the lady-loving tramp. “How is this possible? You are not a lady, you are a gent. If only I could count how many times I have affiliated with a woman, yet to find broad shoulders and large muscles.”

So I’m writing a book called Samantha’s Asylum. Tell me what you think.
I was walking home from school with the hot sun beating down on my neck. Thank God there was only one more day of school until summer vacation. Then Diana and I could go to the creek and swim together. “Samantha!” Momma called from the front porch. I picked up my speed along the beautiful path in the woods and came upon our home. It was wooden with a porch that held three rocking chairs.
I ran up to the porch, all smiles. “Momma, Diana wasn’t in school today.” I said after hugging her. Momma nodded and gazed at the horizon.
“You knew?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Mrs. Land, Diana’s mother, talked to me at the market today.” Momma was frowning and her blue eyes were sad. She put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed warmly.
“She had some very unfortunate news for me.”
‘What? Is Diana sick?”
“I’m afraid this morning she was.”
“This morning? What do you mean?”
“Diana went down by the creek for some fresh air. She waded through the water until her foot got caught in a root. She fell and she couldn’t get back up. Don’t worry, she’s safe in the Lord’s arms.” Momma said. I stared at her, not wanting to believe what I had just heard. But the sadness in her eyes was too real. I ran inside and pounded up the stairs.
“Samantha!” Momma called, hurrying up the steps. I opened my door and dropped my things on the ground. Momma came in and pulled me close. I started to cry. She put her arms around me and stroked my hair. I started to scream then. When we heard Papa’s wagon approaching the house, Momma ran down the stairs crying “Eric, Eric!”
OK So I know it’s not much, but alot more happens. she tries to kill herelf and her parents send her to an asylum. there she finds out secrets and stuff.

So I’m writing a book called Samantha’s Asylum. Tell me what you think.
I was walking home from school with the hot sun beating down on my neck. Thank God there was only one more day of school until summer vacation. Then Diana and I could go to the creek and swim together. “Samantha!” Momma called from the front porch. I picked up my speed along the beautiful path in the woods and came upon our home. It was wooden with a porch that held three rocking chairs.
I ran up to the porch, all smiles. “Momma, Diana wasn’t in school today.” I said after hugging her. Momma nodded and gazed at the horizon.
“You knew?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Mrs. Land, Diana’s mother, talked to me at the market today.” Momma was frowning and her blue eyes were sad. She put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed warmly.
“She had some very unfortunate news for me.”
‘What? Is Diana sick?”
“I’m afraid this morning she was.”
“This morning? What do you mean?”
“Diana went down by the creek for some fresh air. She waded through the water until her foot got caught in a root. She fell and she couldn’t get back up. Don’t worry, she’s safe in the Lord’s arms.” Momma said. I stared at her, not wanting to believe what I had just heard. But the sadness in her eyes was too real. I ran inside and pounded up the stairs.
“Samantha!” Momma called, hurrying up the steps. I opened my door and dropped my things on the ground. Momma came in and pulled me close. I started to cry. She put her arms around me and stroked my hair. I started to scream then. When we heard Papa’s wagon approaching the house, Momma ran down the stairs crying “Eric, Eric!”
OK So I know it’s not much, but alot more happens. she tries to kill herelf and her parents send her to an asylum. there she finds out secrets and stuff.