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Willard has taken bad to a whole new level. Bad like a dumpster behind a fish market during a garbage strike bad. Bad like a three dollar Dark Knight Rises DVD bought off a Times Square cardboard table with Albanian subtitles bad. Bad like Todd Akin at a NARAL benefit bad. Bad doubled down. Beyond breaking bad to the point of broken bad.
And every time the former Governor of Massachusetts opens his mouth, it gets worse. He’s tone deaf, tongue tied, logically challenged and as approachable as a near-sighted porcupine in heat. The Anti Ray Romano: nobody Loves Mitt.
So uncomfortable around real people, you can practically hear him whisper “icky, icky, icky,” under his breath while shaking hands at rallies. You know there’s an aide with a bottle of Purell hand sanitizer waiting for him on the bus. Maybe even a 55- gallon drum connected to a shower head.
Got caught on a secret video calling 47% of those real people moochers and malingerers. Shirking entitled victims dependent on the government for food. Food. Mmmm. That’s us. Just can’t get enough of that government cheese. You know what this country needs? A good 5¢ government cracker.
The impression is that: 1, he was pandering to his rich donor buddies; or 2, the poster child for the 1% really believes what he said. Either way, awkward! And that massive pounding sound you hear is a herd of stampeding elephants running away from what they fear might be contagious.
Said he wouldn’t concern himself with that 47%, which depresses his most ardent supporters, because “hell, that’s more than half!” One major problem with insulting 47% of the American public is that at least 58% of them worry that you think they’re part of that 47% and you know 112% of America believes that. They do. Bet you $10,000.
The video’s release obscured the Romney campaign’s much ballyhooed new design to sharpen its message. Would have been interesting to see how many truckloads of flint they were going to use to try and put an edge on that much smoke, honing fog.
His own staffer warned us. The Etch-a-Sketch has been turned upside down. Prepare to be shaken. Problem is, you keep rebooting something as stiff as Mitt and it starts short-circuiting all over the place. Romney 8.0. Better than Romney 7.0. Now with Desperation.
Maybe it’s the extra large silver spoon in his mouth that keeps him from seeing the view from the middle class. Can’t understand why they don’t pull themselves up by the bootstraps like he did when his daddy loaned him his first million.
With the debates still to come, there’s time to turn this race around. But this far in, its like turning the Titanic. After hitting the iceberg. And the helm is underwater. Face it, if Bain Capital were running Mitt’s campaign right now, they’d close it down, fire him and hire some Chinese guy to do it better and cheaper.
Five time Emmy- nominee Will Durst has a new e- book: “Elect to Laugh!” published by Hyperink. Available at redroom.com or Amazon.

Willard has taken bad to a whole new level. Bad like a dumpster behind a fish market during a garbage strike bad. Bad like a three dollar Dark Knight Rises DVD bought off a Times Square cardboard table with Albanian subtitles bad. Bad like Todd Akin at a NARAL benefit bad. Bad doubled down. Beyond breaking bad to the point of broken bad.
And every time the former Governor of Massachusetts opens his mouth, it gets worse. He’s tone deaf, tongue tied, logically challenged and as approachable as a near-sighted porcupine in heat. The Anti Ray Romano: nobody Loves Mitt.
So uncomfortable around real people, you can practically hear him whisper “icky, icky, icky,” under his breath while shaking hands at rallies. You know there’s an aide with a bottle of Purell hand sanitizer waiting for him on the bus. Maybe even a 55- gallon drum connected to a shower head.
Got caught on a secret video calling 47% of those real people moochers and malingerers. Shirking entitled victims dependent on the government for food. Food. Mmmm. That’s us. Just can’t get enough of that government cheese. You know what this country needs? A good 5¢ government cracker.
The impression is that: 1, he was pandering to his rich donor buddies; or 2, the poster child for the 1% really believes what he said. Either way, awkward! And that massive pounding sound you hear is a herd of stampeding elephants running away from what they fear might be contagious.
Said he wouldn’t concern himself with that 47%, which depresses his most ardent supporters, because “hell, that’s more than half!” One major problem with insulting 47% of the American public is that at least 58% of them worry that you think they’re part of that 47% and you know 112% of America believes that. They do. Bet you $10,000.
The video’s release obscured the Romney campaign’s much ballyhooed new design to sharpen its message. Would have been interesting to see how many truckloads of flint they were going to use to try and put an edge on that much smoke, honing fog.
His own staffer warned us. The Etch-a-Sketch has been turned upside down. Prepare to be shaken. Problem is, you keep rebooting something as stiff as Mitt and it starts short-circuiting all over the place. Romney 8.0. Better than Romney 7.0. Now with Desperation.
Maybe it’s the extra large silver spoon in his mouth that keeps him from seeing the view from the middle class. Can’t understand why they don’t pull themselves up by the bootstraps like he did when his daddy loaned him his first million.
With the debates still to come, there’s time to turn this race around. But this far in, its like turning the Titanic. After hitting the iceberg. And the helm is underwater. Face it, if Bain Capital were running Mitt’s campaign right now, they’d close it down, fire him and hire some Chinese guy to do it better and cheaper.
Five time Emmy- nominee Will Durst has a new e- book: “Elect to Laugh!” published by Hyperink. Available at redroom.com or Amazon.

There in the in the darkness of Egypt lie Sphinx, the heart of ancient Egypt. But there is something else that is hidden below the depths of the miles and miles of sand. A passage. Many explorers have tried to find that secret passage but have all died by either heat stroke or getting lost in the desolate desert. Its weird isn’t. People risking there lives to find a secret passage in Egypt. Well there is one person who was able to locate the ominous passage and find the sacred treasure. His name is name you won’t recognize in novels, newspaper or the computer. His name is Tornado Didle. And if you think that because of his name he wasn’t recognize in any kind of newspaper you’re wrong. Before his discovery, Didle lived a relatively poor life. He was a cashier who got at least five dollars a month. He lived in a trailer in a slum city in the Middle East. His IQ was a very mediocre 39. So because of all these poor things he said to himself that one day he would have the riches. He would have the immense loft. And most important, he would be recognized. It all started on a dark and rainy day when he went to the dumpster which was right next to his house. And in that dumpster was a copy of today’s newspaper. He started to read it to see what was going on in the world. He saw in one column that Manny Rochire died trying to look for a sacred passage in Egypt. He had heard of that passage before. On another column he saw that Gloomy Glooms, the super market he worked for was going out of business. “Great” said Tornado. “Where in the world am I supposed to get food? Tornado’s life was very unhappy. But most who knew him can say that all his life has been always been a living hell. His parents had died when Tornado was very young. He got put into an orphanage where he lived till he was 18. He had just enough money to get into a small college. Then after college, he needed money. Since he had very little information on his resume, no company’s would hire him. Luckily, a grocery store needed a cashier so that is where he got his job. He had to live on at least $0.50 a week. So of course since he was very low on money he didn’t have the most comfortable home. He was lucky enough though, to be able to live in a trailer. Many weeks had passed before Tornado finally snapped. He was sick and tired of not being able to get clean food. He was sick and tired that nobody cared about him. “I want to end my life” shot Tornado. He thought about getting a knife and stabbing himself but he couldn’t afford a knife at all. But then he remembered about the secret passage. He was bound to die there. But then he realized that he didn’t have any money to take a plane. But if he walked he would probably die on the way there. So he decided to go find the secret passage hoping that it would end his life. “I will journey tomorrow” he said. The next day he packed nothing but an old half drunken bottle of water. “Well if I’m going to die I probably should get one last drink“. After packing he said good-bye to the junkyard dog as he liked to call it. He lived near the dumpster so everyday for breakfast he would often be seen snacking on rotten apple cores and other various items to be thrown into the dumpster everyday. But today he skipped breakfast. He said his last goodbyes to the city, and then started his search or “suicide” as he liked to call it. He got out of the city in about approximately 30 minutes. It was a rainy thunderous day. Kind of ironic. Lighting was being thrown all around the sky. From the expression on Tornado’s face it looked like he could be thinking “please hit me please hit me”. He actually was probably thinking that. Finally he had reached the desert. The clouds had disappeared revealing the scorching red sun.