Affiliate Marketing Secrets

Please grade my SAT essay on a scale of 1 to 6 pts. and give me feedback and tips.
prompt:Do people succeed by emphasizing their differences from other people?
There are countless mavericks, in part, a plethora of them become successful icons, and a few of them just plow under. Emphasizing different thoughts from other people and proofing with stiff evidence is a prerequisite of becoming a famous figure. Bill Gates’ choice between education and business, Gandhi’s option among a mediocrity and a legendary ascetic-monk, Darwin selection between flowing with the regional conception and ignoring with majority, all prove that standing up and polarizing the world is a way to succeed.
When Bill Gates made his decision to drop put from Harvard, he did not care too much of the result. Gates entered Harvard in 1973, and dropped out two years later when he and Allen started the engine of Microsoft. Many people did not understand why Gates gave up such a good opportunity to study in world’s No.1 University. However, with size comes power, Microsoft dominates the pc market with its operating systems, such as MS-DOS and Windows. Now, Microsoft becomes the biggest software company in the world. The turning point in his life is the choice to leave the school to company. Although his seemingly crotchety behavior was unfathomable in that time, his harvest in business could likely to response it.
During prolific mid-century, the process of founding a new theory is also like emphasizing the difference. For example, when Darwin published his famous research result Origin of Species, the book encounter lots of controversies because majority of people believe that the theory of creating by God. Darwin’s friends tried to persuade him, but Darwin held his mind. The members of the religious community, as well as a lot of scientific peers, stubbornly held their belief that organism and each adaptation was the work of creator and were outraged about Darwin’s ideal and even some radical pedant tried to lawsuit Darwin. On the other hand, a few of insightful scientist tended to acknowledge Darwin’s researches. Eventually the theory of evolution defeated the traditional belief and totally changed the people’s conception towards the world. Now Darwin’s theory is reverenced as one of the greatest intellectual revolutions of human history. Because this different ideal from Darwin, because of the emerging of anti-mainstream’s voice, not only Darwin succeeds, but also all of human-beings succeed.
The secret of success is not so much disparate or peerless as pro-active—–even sometimes, their theory cannot be accepted by current society. To accept the main stream is evanescent, only standing out and showing your different suspect even groundless will leaving footprint.
I WROTE IT WITHIN 23 MIN.~