Affiliate Marketing Secrets

First off, I’m not suicidal or a crazed lunatic! I’m a single 30 yr old male and over the last few months I’ve gone from being TERRIFIED of the very thought of my own mortality to actually accepting it as a release from this miserable world. I’ve got a LOT of health issues (nerve damage, a limp, constant chronic pain, hip problems, and terrible anxiety to top it off) and while there is no reason to believe I’m dying any sooner than anyone else, what was a phobia now seems like an upcoming vacation. I even bought a niche for my ashes near where Johnny Cash (my hero) is buried. I just want to know if this seems like “normal” behavior to an outside party or a sign that I might need some help. Thanks!
P.S. I’m hoping all the trolls will draw from what little soul they have and help me out here, or at least not bog the posting down with smarta$$ comments!