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Sorry this is so long but I really need help. I know I’m going to get a lot of hate for this, for being a “disrespectful, angsty teenager,” but I need to get this out of my system and hopefully get some advice as well.
I’m 16, and I am convinced that my mother is the worst person in the world. She is a disgusting excuse of a human being. I know, how horrible that I’m speaking of my mother this way but hear me out, here’s why I hate her:
1. She is sexist. She says that women can’t survive without men in their lives because she thinks men are supposed to provide you all the money you need. She left my dad (who is twice her age) after taking all his money and moved onto the next old and desperate rich man. She thinks women are only there to cook and clean. She lets my brother sit around the house playing video games but she makes me clean all the time and her reason “because you’re a girl and that’s what girls do.”
2. She is racist. She hates everyone except her own race (Asian). Most of my friends are from other countries, which she always gives me sh!t for. My best friend is black and my mother says not to be friends with her because she is probably a gang-affiliated thief with AIDS. She says all black people have AIDS. She says all white people are arrogant and stuck up. I’m half white so she says I should be ashamed of myself.
3. She thinks I’m not normal and she’s always putting me down. I’m smart, ambitious and I’m not afraid to be myself like many other teens. But she says I’m a weird loser, and that I should be like a “normal girl.” A normal girl, according to her, is one who sleeps around, dresses like a slut and wears a tonne of makeup. She constantly tells me to “go fukc a man, you need it” (yes those are her words). She uses every single name in the book on me, calling me a btich, sh!thead, etc. She tells me she hates me and she often threatens me, saying she wants to kill me simply for being me. She sometimes slaps me, punches me, kicks me, scratches and pulls my hair.
There are so many more reasons why I hate her but those are the top 3. I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I’ve called the police on her twice when she was hitting me. Once when I was 6 (I assume nothing happened because I’m still here) and another time a few months ago. My mum cried to the police saying she was a good mother and lied about hitting me, then she called up all her friends to “testify” that she was a good mother, so they didn’t believe me. My life is a living hell because of this woman and she makes me want to kill myself. In my whole life, I have never called her a name to her face, never laid a finger on her, not even to defend myself, so I know I don’t deserve this. But lately I just can’t take it. When she talks to me I have to control myself and stop myself from lunging at her. I know that if I do, she will go crazy and probably beat me to a pulp. So now that I’ve vented, I would like to know how I can handle this efficiently and how to stay sane until I graduate next year when I’m 17. Once I graduate, I’ll leave.