Affiliate Marketing Secrets

Youre married for 10+ years with 2 kids.
You suddenly discover that your spouse has been concealing a secret, that he/she is a major international arms smuggler, stealing or buying and selling black market weapons wholesale from fallen regimes and selling them to all types of small-time dictators, warlords, tyrants or druglords, or whoever is willing to pay the right price (military weapons, guns/bombs, ammunition, and some artillery wherever available)
He/She is thereby is contributing to atrocities like genocide and many global social ills.
What do you do?
As many answerers as possible please.
P.S., assuming that You yourself are morally opposed to this type of business. Not looking for the “Woohoo that would be AWESOME!” replies.
P.P.S. I need to know this because of a debate my girl and I had on the matter. Neither I nor anyone I know is in this predicament.

I am the antipode of athleticism incarnate. I am not, however, overweight. I really might as well be, judging by my physical abilities. Anyway, I would really love to finally get into a sport as well as get in shape. The only problem is, I don’t know where to start! I’m at an age where anyone I know who plays sports has already found their niche. There aren’t any starter classes for people my age. I also am an awkward person…very clumsy and all. I’m really your stereotypical nerd who’s spent too much time pursuing academic endeavours and being socially isolated. This has resulted in horrible anxiety in performance/high pressure situations. I suppose I am really trying to ask how I can just start playing a sport when I’m so horrible. Who would take the time to teach me so much that others already know? I really just want to find a group at my level, which is extremely low. The reason I don’t just barge in on a team and join is that I know they will hate me for making them LOSE!! Any tips for my little predicament? Any stories of experience?
Thanks!