Affiliate Marketing Secrets

Looking for advice for personal change. With the circumstances of my life left in the dark (Everyone’s got problems), I ask for someone to help me figure out a way to restructure my philosophy towards iving. I have been on a loop cycle of failure after failure in virtually everything I put my mind towards for the past 5 years.
As I am today, I feel that everything that could possibly be done in this life is ultimately futile and even in the most lucrative circumstances has no collective meaning whatsoever in the scheme of the universe. I am glad to say I do not believe emotions to be at play here except as a product of this extreme pessimism. Though it is as if I am in a flight pattern that goes nowhere, because what is the point of going anywhere if where we are is ultimately going to be controlled and supervised by the rest of the pious population till we grow old and decrepit, only to reach our final destination of a most likely unpleasant death.
I don’t follow social trends and have a very hard time understanding any other person these days. I feel as though every day I wake up further into a dream, with no real niche, journey, or plans. The idea of contentment, discontentment, happiness, sadness, success, failure mean nothing to me. I would go as far as to say I am undecided about even the most trivial decisions, as though I have completely disregarded to ideas of opinion or choice. This is beginning to have a profound effect on my social aptitude. I am finding myself during conversation just completely breaking off in mid sentence because I loose interest in anything I may be discussing with someone.
I am atheist, and first taught myself about the seemingly futile, and then non-existence of god. I am in college but can’t stop switching fields of study and then eventually drop out of the semester. I have tried a handful of popular religions in an attempt to direct my life somewhere constructive, but have always realized I was trying to trick myself in the end.
With this neutralization of motivation though has come some comforting lifestyle changes. I have quit smoking cigarettes and for whatever reason didn’t die a drug/alcohol addict (Something that was likely for a few years). This may be why I am not too panicked about my situation, I used to be a lot worse off. It is my feeling that at least I am not hurting the people around me any longer, therefore I have at least corrected the wrong I once committed. Maybe this is a complex?
I really don’t know what else to write.

I’ve been reading into American politics lately, and although I am not an American citizen, I find it interesting to get a sense of what America and its citizens are going through right now (politically, economically, etc.).
Anyway, I keep reading about both political parties, and I am having a hard time classifying myself with a party.
I am usually on the fence on most matters, because I believe that in todays world, it is every man for himself. However, I do value traditiod and family. I also believe strongly in educating one self and establishing a good career.
I like the idea of smaller governments because I have seen many low-income people abuse and take advantage of government social programs (for example, welfare). I think governments should not intervene ALOT in people’s lives, but do so only when necessary. I believe that people’s success/failure depends ENTIRELY on their actions. For instance, if you are in need of some cash, then get a job and work hard…and move up the corporate ladder.
I am mostly neutral on controvesial issues. I am pro-abortion simply because I think we have a choice in deciding whether to bring a life into this world or not (please dont bother arguing with me about this, I dont have time to explain my beliefs over the internet to you). I believe in having a strong military/national defence, but I also think that money needs to be invested in the infrastructure of a country in order to improve quality of life.
I support the advancement of medical research. I don’t have anything against homosexuals.
I am not insanely religious, but I do remember my religious roots and ties (I give my family more value than my religion). I am a strong believer of karma and I live by the moto ‘live and let live”, therefore I think everyone should mind their own business, and stop imposing their beliefs on others (I am looking at you christians who keep knocking on my door asking me to consider christianity as my religion lol–no offence but it gets annoying. please stop).
I believe everything should be done in moderation. I don’t like extremes.
…okay so that was my little rant. Now, what political category should I affiliate myself with?