like i dont want to go out of the house often. i consider myself a godess. i am stuborn. i am mrs. bad luck. i like to watch a lot of television but boring serials in hindi, india. i like to wear old and dirty clothes and keep all the good dresses and sarees locked in a suitcase and not open it up for three years. i dont like to satisfy my hubby sexually as i get bored. and i abuse and give orders to my hubby often. i dont like to go to church and hate all the people who go over there and accept those church ideologies. i hate my two kids and three daughters very often. and i am very evil eyed. and the biggest problem is that i had an unlawful and cheating relationship with my neighbour male six years back , that thing keeps on troubling me again. and i dont like to share my secret stories of past with my girl friends. and now i am totally lonely and without any friends. i cook very bad food. pls reply what i can do to change myself or should i do the same old things that way. i want to be a leader but afraid to step out of the house. i am not earning any single penny from market sources for the past 39 years and hate people who earn money. i am very animalistic and bitchy. pls help me. i am a 69 year old girl sadly marriaged.