I’m really confused about my relationship with this woman. I’m a 42 year old man who had a rough upbringing. I’ve been to jail twice. After I got out 14 years ago, I found a niche as an agent for struggling actresses through my connections in both businesses and the underworld. A lot of them are doing drugs. If they’re desperate enough, I introduce them to the adult industry and escorting on the side. Business was good.
Around a year ago, a plain looking, stocky 18 year old girl fresh out of high school came into my office and told me she wanted to be an actress. I tried to maintain my composure and explained to her that it would be hard for her to make it. She was too short for the runway, too fat for Hollywood, and quite frankly too ugly for art modelling. That basically leaves the adult industry. She said she desperately needed some money and would do whatever it takes to be an actress, even topless modelling. I got mad and said “you’re a f*king mangled mess. Just absolutely too f*king ugly to ever make any kind of money off this whole showing ur t*tts thing. Soon ur gonna be desperate enough to start chugging c*kk juice on camera to try to make ends meet. It’s just a matter of time before I see video of ur sh*ttpipe being stretched and gaped by a massive c*kk for a few hundred dollars and another hit of meth.”
She started to cry and I softened up. I made a profile for her on modelmayhem and suggested that she should do some adult modelling first, a few months later I got her into doing hardcore. She has all sorts of emotional problems and is very vulnerable. She’s also addicted to antidepressants and prescription drugs. But I actually feel sorry for her and genuinely care about her. I even let her move in to my place last month because she’s broke and lonely.
Recently I began to get jealous when I’m on set watching her perform and banned her from escorting altogether. It’s something I never felt toward any of the other girls. I obviously had sex with her before (quite a few times actually), but when it started I didn’t really think much of it. Now it got a whole new different meaning. Am I falling in love for the first time in my life?