This is for my book, “The Tree of Light.” All tips and advice are welcomed!
Inside the cave, it was darker than any dark Avniel had ever seen. Being an outlaw who had a price on his head, Avniel had hidden in some pretty strange and dark places before. This place, however, was different from any other, and that wasn’t a good thing. Soon the pack of bounty hunters would pass, and he would leave.
Avniel was on his way to Astasia, a nearby city full of secrets. The city was guarded by the most fool-proof system anywhere: a tree. This tree, however, was no ordinary tree. All the legends claimed that it had been fashioned from moon-beams and sunlight and that it could never expire or die. It was called the Tree of Light and it kept all evil away from Astasia’s golden gates.
Avniel chanced a look out of the mouth of the cave that he crouched in, and saw about four or five men on horseback. They all had cruel, hard faces and wicked looking swords and knives strapped onto their backs. They were talking and joking loudly among themselves. One man, with a huge red beard, snatched another’s canteen and gulped down the entire contents. The victim, a scraggly, scrawny man, angrily began speaking very rapidly in a language Avniel did not know, then pulled a wickedly gleaming knife from his belt and held it above the thief’s chest. The man grunted and tossed the canteen back to the furious owner, who stalked away, muttering under his breath and shooting angry looks at the thief.
Avniel’s eyes left the scene and traveled to the front of the surly group. When the outlaw’s eyes fell upon a thin, rough looking man, with long jet-black hair, beetle-black eyes and an evil, crooked smile on his unshaven face, he gasped and sank back into the shadows of the cave, flattening himself against the wall, staying stock still.
“No”, he hissed under his breath.
“He can’t be here. All the way from Argon, he can’t be that desperate. Why would Daniel Salzar come all this way just for me?” Breathing deeply, Avniel peered around the edge of the cave once more. Salzar was looking away, but Avniel still knew that it was him, just from the greasy black hair hanging past his shoulders and the stooped, lazy way in which he walked and rode. Daniel Salzar would do anything to get hold of Avniel and bring him to Argon, dead or alive. However, Avniel had out-witted Salzar many too many times now, and Salzar’s grudge against the outlaw was getting more and more personal. Suddenly, the skinny man turned, and his deathly black eyes seemed to lock with Avniel’s. Avniel jolted backwards with fright and his head hit a rock. The walls and ceiling of the cave spun around him as whispered, hissing words seemed to fill his mind, “The tree, I want the tree.” Then, everything went black.
On the same day of Avniel’s misadventure in the cave, a traveler named Barrett walked through the gates of Astasia. It was a market day; the bustling hordes of villagers gave this away. Barrett sighed wearily; he would get something to eat before he tried to do the business that he came here for.
A plump lady with fiery red hair noticed the tall stranger before he saw her. He was thin and had curly dark brown hair, chocolate brown eyes and olive skin. He had an intelligent look to him, and his eyes sparkled mischievously. Any other woman would have thought him handsome, but Aaliyah Reevin wasn’t thinking about looks at all when she spotted him. Now he had noticed her and was coming over. Quickly, Aaliyah threw her shawl around her face, and held it tightly there, so only her hard, grey eyes showed. The man, it was Barrett Hale, she knew it, peered at her curiously as if he had seen her before. Then, shaking his head, he walked off into the merry crowd, leaving a bewildered and angry Aaliyah behind him.
Barrett shook his head. He was sure that he’d seen her, but why would she be here? That woman that he’d passed had the same cruel grey eyes, the same countenance, as Aaliyah Reevin. He thought that he even saw a wisp of wiry orange hair, but, it just didn’t make sense. Barrett shook his curly head once more and stalked off towards the castle.