First of all, I’m not friendLESS, which is a good sign. However, I do not feel like I have a solid group of friends that provides that social stability/support. I am currently a (female) sophomore in college and I am having a hard time finding my niche or close group of friends in college. I feel like most people make their friends from their hallway freshmen year. Last year I got unlucky and lived in a dorm that attracted the types of people I specifically could never find myself being friends with–the superficial party animals. I also roomed with a girl who seemed to be on the same page as me (ie: neither of us fit in with the types of people who chose to live in this dorm) but she wasn’t interested in being friends with me for some odd reason, and grew to dislike me for almost no apparent reason.
I remember within the first week we both felt like everyone in my hall clicked off very quickly and before I knew it, both of us were alone, and she ended up transferring out after the first semester. Looking back, I kind of wish I had too because I didn’t fit in at all. But for some reason I thought if I stuck it out maybe it would get better.
So that explains largely why I didn’t make that many friends my freshman year when I “should have”. The school I’m attending also has about 50,000 undergrads, so it can be difficult to make the connections.
This year, I’m living in an apartment with random roommates (and will probably find myself, embarassingly, doing the same thing my junior year :/). While I have some friends, I want a stable group of friends, but I feel like all the upperclassmen already have a group of friends and aren’t looking for any more. Plus, it is difficult to break into an already formed social circle. My problem is, I have a lot of trouble following through with relationships and turning acquaintances into friends. I have people who I sit with in class, see at work, etc. but I have an extremely difficult time taking relationships to the next level. Its not that I’m that fearful of rejection, I feel like the whole process of asking to get food or hang out will be awkward. I’m also afraid that it isn’t appropriate to take things to the next level.
At this point, I feel like it is most critical to make friends because in the working world it’s even more difficult. I would even like to find a mate in college if possible, but I don’t know if that will happen or not either.
It just seems like everyone else has found their niche here and is comfortable with their adult life whereas I feel like I am just floating around without any stable social relationships to keep me grounded. Again, I am not in a position where I have zero friends. I do have one really good friend who I’d consider reliable. I have two other friends (who are also mutual friends with each other), but both of them are social butterflies so I really only feel like an option to them. So they’re not very reliable because they both already have their own separate group of friends.
What can I do to improve my confidence in my social life?