I’m a sophomore in college (and female) and I’m going through what I suppose a lot of college students are (even though it doesn’t seem like it) where I’m trying to figure out where I belong in life. It’s sort of a confusion phase of figuring out your future, who you are, and what you want from life. I think last year as a freshman I was more lost than ever, but now I feel relatively more comfortable in my new home. I moved from a rural area to a (smaller/medium-sized) city, so it took some getting used to, and I still am getting used to it in some regards.
Despite this, I’m still not “settled” or exactly comfortable in my own shoes. I’m trying to figure out where I fit in (with respect to social groups in college); there’s obviously a life after college, too, so I would like to have some sense of security in terms of social friendships/relationships, because (correct me if I’m wrong) developing those connections is very difficult after college.
I feel intimidated because it seems like so many students have found their niche in life by the time they are my age (ie: a sophomore, approaching junior year) and are not looking for a group of friends. How can I ensure that I find my place in this city? I’m quite school/career focused and individualistic and so is everyone else…so sometimes I find it difficult to make those personal connections. Most people I know seem to be confident about their life and have a lot going for them. Whereas I just feel confused and hopeful for a good future. I guess it’s not that I’m not doing anything… I get mostly A’s, have a part time job, and a few good friends (2 or 3 close friends) but for some reason I still can’t find my niche where I feel comfortable with myself. Two of those three close friends also have a lot of friends, so I’m more of an “option”. I’m also single (and have been since I was 16) so having a relationship is something I’d like to happen in the next couple of years
Any general life advice? I just really don’t feel like I’ve found my niche or a close GROUP of friends that give me a sense of closeness, stability and support. I really don’t think I’m one of those weird people who can’t make friends–I’m totally like-able, but I feel unsettled like I’m lacking something in the social department
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I’m Having A Social Life Crisis In College…how Do I Find My Place In This City?
Posted on April 15, 2012.
Order pizza……invite people over to your house…….say Hey and smile. The polls and surveys section of the entertainment category has a ton of fun questions to ask people when the conversation stalls. Write some down
Hi! I can empathise. I moved to England when I was 17 for University, and had to get fluent in the language pretty quick. Others formed their groups pretty quick, and I found that I ended up “group less” for the duration of my degree. At that time I was wondering also where I fit in also because was culturally confused. 10 years on, I have realised that the most important thing to me was being comfortable being with myself. I have learnt who I am as a person, what my personal values are, what my boundaries and limitations are. I have a few close friends-I can count them on one hand. I am comfortable with that because these are my genuine friends-they would do anything for me. I would rather have a small number of close friends than a larger number of “friends”. Of course, I do have acquaintances, but these are people that I don’t think I can have a meaningful bond with, therefore having them close to me will not enrich my life.
Remember, Woody Allen once said: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
You cannot really plan your life, I mean you can, but things will change, people will change, such is life
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The only two guaranteed things in life are death and taxes.
Learn to be comfortable with yourself. Learn to love and appreciate yourself. You don’t need anyone else’s approval. When you are happy with just your company, that’s when you will exude genuine confidence, and that’s when people of substance will flock around, including guys that you may want to let into your life.
I think alot of other students experience that too