Well, this is a very vague and obscure topic, and I know how difficult a question it is to answer, being right up there along with ‘What is the meaning to life?’.
I have always been rather ‘introverted’ (reflective and taciturn with a tendency to avoid expending effort) and I do not mean ‘anti-social’ or awkward. I just simply mean that I am contemplative, and have a relatively clear understanding of who I am. I am very mature and often find that it’s difficult to enjoy the things most people do.
Where I am finding difficulty, is that I have no way to know what is more ‘real’ and actually matters in development as a person. I tried personality theory (socionics, MBTI), and I’ve tried meditation, and they never seem to have information on what actually matters in life. I feel tugged between two ideals, a life of meditation and obscurity or a life of external achievement only to possibly find that it means nothing to me. I have tried my best to find answers on my own, but the arguments justifying an esoteric life seem so insubstantial and incoherent, and they seem to simply be a series of eloquent descriptions of ‘enlightenment’ with no certainty of whether they were made-up.
The arguments for living a productive life contributing to society and facing endless competition seem equally absurd, and they undervalue how tangible the mind can be, and completely ignore the value of subjectivity (a feeling of accomplishment/happiness) instead placing a huge emphasis on ‘jumping through hoops’.
The biggest issue I have, is simply that I want to find a productive and comfortable niche, but in order to do that I need to identify which reality matters more. I have no solid evidence for internal or external experiences being more important. I often put off asking questions like this because most people wouldn’t see the point in asing them.
I have always been mature and intelligent, and quite skilled, but rarely had any need to use my skills or even show that I have them to other people. I have never had ambition or any competitive spirit, and in general, I prefer solitude because I find most conversation/interaction to be tedius and boring. Most of the people I know are very childish and easily swept away by hype, but at the same time, I question whether I’m the child throwing temper tantrums because I don’t like what they do.
It is a very common struggle in literature, and in all honesty, I have yet to find another person at about the same place in their journey, and seldom found someone mature enough that I can look to for answers. I don’t seek reassurance; I find it in my solitude and reflections. What I seek is external evidence, rather than mere concepts embedded within stories. I am the kind that cannot be content with the normal standards of success, and yet, seeks a niche where I fit comfortably and can be myself. I do not have many material needs, but at the same time, I find that the only reason I speak is because I dislike the silence of knowing I don’t have to.
I am simply looking for something to apply myself to that I can believe in, and that won’t leave me ignoring either the external or internal world I experience. I find all too often that I don’t feel a need to do anything unless it is necessary, and that I do a lot of unnecessary things because I genuinely want to understand the world and my place in it. Even in writing this, I have contemplated its deletion simply on account of it seeming an unnecessary addition that will likely leave me where I started.
I have also considered that I’m possibly mentally unsound, and yet I find that stress has little power over me, and that I do not worry or fear like the people around me. Is it that I simply cannot enjoy what those around me do, or is it perhaps that I have grown beyond such trifling materials and shared interests? I have found that what I want most is not so much answers as perspective. I know where I am in relation to those around me, and I know myself well, but I do not know my exact position in this journey we call life. I simply want to know where I am and where I am going, not the direction I am going versus the direction they are going. Please be aware that I have deeply considered all the possiblities and implications of what I know, but I have no solid reference point by which to map them out.
Where is there something which doesn’t require pure faith in its reality? I simply seek to know where to find truth, rather than opinion; knowledge, rather than facts and figures; and certainty, rather than possibility.
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How Do I Find The Truth?
Posted on December 11, 2012.
I suggest the teachings of Dr. David R. Hawkins for you. You can youtube his lectures and interviews, and find his books in almost any large retail bookstore.
I can tell you have very deep reflective thoughts and ideas about the subjective experience. You are on the right track. Stay flexable and open minded otherwise rigid views tend to shatter. All knowledge is accepted on faith. Facts and figures are subject to change and are temperal. When the Truth is revealed all knowledge, facts, figures and faith can be abandon. But in the meantime you have to stand on something. Truth is always True and immutable, never dependent on anything. It has been said that “one is not apart from the Truth, it only needs to be realized.” There is no external objective Truth outside of yourself. Many seekers search a lifetime with no results, because they don’t know where to look.
Dr. Hawkin’s teachings is a good start, the rest is up to you.
How do I find the truth?
~~~ “How do I find water?” asked the little fish as he swam all over the pond searching for water!
I tell you that you do not ‘find truth’, you simply Pay Attention! Every moment!
You Pay Attention…
and BREATHE!
and
Know ThySelf!
Now the little fish doesn’t have to re-invent the wheel!
Feel free to copy and re-read sporadically!
What you seek is right under your nose, little fish, to Know Water, simply do what you do, Pay Attention!
and BREATHE!
knowledge, rather than facts and figures;
~~~ Prepare to download update into Head and Heart, and contemplate implications!
The new, critically updated, all inclusive, final definition of ‘Knowledge’;
“‘Knowledge’ is ‘that which is perceived’!”
All inclusive!
Every moment of existence is a unique moment of ‘Self! Knowledge!
‘Ignorance’ is that which is NOT perceived, at any particular moment, by any particular unique Perspective!
That is what We are, unique Conscious Perspectives (Souls) of the one Reality (‘Self!’!), every moment of existence!
That which is perceived by the unique individual Perspective is ‘knowledge’.
All we can ‘know’ is what we perceive, Now! and Now! and Now!!!
Now, the tastiest Truth of all here, and that is Truth Is Love! (‘true’/’false’ is a subset of the complete ‘set’ of the all inclusive ‘Truth set’)
The whole thing in a nutshell, as always, Pay Attention:
Remember, Truth is not different than Love;
“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi
Notice, it is not about ‘searching for’ something, as ‘removing obstacles’ from obscuring your vision of Truth!
We don’t ‘find’ the Truth, we find that We Are Truth!!!
It is Who and What We Are, One Omni- ‘Self!’!
and certainty, rather than possibility.
~~~ ‘Certainty’ “require(s) pure faith in its reality”!
‘Certainty’ is a ‘belief’ (most toxic), and that is religion!
Science and philosophy is about always tentative theories.
The Certainty Bias: A Potentially Dangerous Mental Flawhttp://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=the-…
Perhaps some food for thought, and contemplation?
You’re welcome.
It sounds like you have reached an impasse.
No amount of knowledge passed on from anyone else will elevate your understanding of yourself.
You seem to have found all the truth that this world has to offer, and the truth that eludes you is the truth that you can feel exists beyond what exists now. In other words, you know that there is more to life than this. Have you recently experienced something profound? A feeling that you can’t exactly explain with words? Something is deffinitely happening to you, otherwise you wouldn’t be thinking so deeply.
In truth, that which lies beyond our current truth is in fact a truth that we can only imagine, it is a truth that cannot be realized by wanting, it is a truth that will come to you when you are ready to receive. Doubt can prevent one from receiving that which is true. The mind must discard worldly thoughts and simply know that this world is in need of change. Start imagining your perfect world again, and trust it will become a reality.
Thank you for sharing.
This is a common idea that does not have one answer, and cannot, because there are too many variations in humanity for there to be one truth.
I think to find truth we can rely on experience, or rely on other’s wisdom to find what we believe to be the truth. We must trust what we know to be the truth, and go on from there.
Descartes doubted everything he knew and started a whole new “mind”. only then could he attempt to find the truth. the 5 senses are how we interpret the truth, and they may be wrong sometimes, so everything can be doubted, therefore the truth will never be found through man. only a higher power, one who created the truth could know it.