I am originally from a liberal city in Northern California. All four years of high school I dreamt of going to college in Southern California. I was forced to go to a small, all girls Catholic high school by my mother. It was really a horrible social experience, and I stuck with my two best friends who were b*tches. I was pretty much sticking it out until I could go to an awesome college. I imagined the typical college experience being in warm weather, partying, and being in a sorority.
I ended up getting rejected from all of my California schools, but I got accepted to Boston College which is ranked about 30th in the country. I was really against going, but my mom pushed it upon me. We also got about half financial aid. There were a lot of factors that played into it, but first semester I basically failed all of my classes. That’s what you get when you unwillingly ship me across the country. I realize it was a terrible mistake and I do feel a lot of guilt. I am now back at the evening school making up credits and doing much better this semester.
The school is not a completely miserable place, but I just feel like it’s not for me. I am against the basic idea of it: a small, religious affiliated college in FREEZING weather. The social scene is horrible. The kids are most often wealthy, sheltered, and very judgmental. The people are pale and not good looking. It is very hard for me to relate to students here, and although there are exceptions, I know that if I graduate from here I am going to have a lot of resentment toward the school and less friends than I would at another school. Students who think like me and want to party would definitely avoid this school. One of the only friends I made here is a senior guy who hates the school, regrets not transferring, and lives off campus. He recommended that I transfer. I just don’t think it’s ironic that he is one of the coolest people I’ve met in college.
On to logistics: I ruined my GPA and chances of transferring directly from the school. I could do community college at home, but I have a horrible family situation (bipolar father who talks to himself and is doing badly, and overbearing argumentative mother) and I would be 50 times more miserable than at BC. Leaving home was a big part of me going to college. It is also hard to get classes and would probably take over 2 years to graduate. All CA community colleges have a guaranteed transfer program to UCSB where you need only a 3.2 GPA to get in. I was thinking I could go to community college in Santa Barbara because it is the number one community college in the country. People come from all over the world and there is housing. It would be about $17,000 per year for community college while BC for us is about $60,000 per year for us. I would hardly care if I didn’t make friends because I would be so ecstatic to be living in that area. I would also have the ability to transfer out to a school like UCLA or USC, or perhaps go back to BC (doubtfully).
I don’t want to sound like a spoiled brat, but I just feel like the cost of BC is not worth what it will get me in the future. Because I have the benefit of being a California resident, I can get guaranteed transfer to UCSB which is ranked about 10 places below BC, but higher for social aspects. If I change my mind, I can transfer to UCLA. At BC, I am in the Arts and Sciences although I would like to major in something business related. It is well known that is basically impossible to transfer to the business school, so my only option is to major in Economics within A&S, and who knows maybe I will hate this major?!
My mom calls me an idiot and says she will not pay for SBCC. Yet she will continue to pay for BC even though it is likely to not get me anywhere? I would just like to direct her money in the most efficient way where I can be happy, and I feel like SBCC is a great, responsible choice, and I am willing to get a job while I am there. It will also give me time to figure out what I want and to get familiar with Southern California. UCSB is also great academically, and starting over I will be able to get my GPA up and get more job prospects. I am also interested in working in California after college, and companies here are more familiar with UCs than BC.
I would certainly stick it out at BC if I was in the business school and if I was interested in working in the Northeast, or if the CC system in California did not have a guaranteed transfer program. There are a lot of great things about BC and it’s cool to be around people from all over the country, but I am not sure that it’s worth it. I would certainly go to community college at home if my home situation wasn’t so depressing/distracting, and if the CCs here were actually good. I would also be extremely socially deprived and probably become very depressed.
Advice?
Categorized | Featured Articles
Should I Leave My Current Northeast College And Go To A California Cc?
Posted on March 9, 2013.
Wow, my parents stopped paying for anything after I was 17, and I had to work my way through school on scholarships and tears.
“That’s what they get for shipping you across the country?” You’re an adult, ignore what they say and do whatever you want. You’d do better to go to a community college and transfer than to sabotage yourself to get back at your mom.
Are you the same Ashley that’s been whining about moving to So Cal for the past several years?
I have to side with your mom. Paying for you to attend Boston College will get you, if you apply yourself, a Bachelors Degree. That has value. Community College is basically nothing more than just the first 2 years of a four year education. Why would you want to go backwards.
A college education is VERY expensive, and your parents are sacrificing to sent you to a quality school so you’ll have a good start at a career. Schools with a religious affiliation (Notre Dame, BYU, Southern Methodist, etc.) usually give you a better quality education than those operated by the government. Stop complaining that you’re not at a party school (UCSB), and take your educational opportunity seriously. The boys, and parties will come and go, but your education will be with you all your life.
Warning: Harsh reality ahead. Stop reading now if you don’t want to hear some hard truth.
Hate to say it, but there is just SO much wrong here. Not sure where to begin. But if you stay with this the whole way through, you’ll get some good advice.
First off, you need to lose the ‘tude: “I don’t want to sound like a spoiled brat…”
Too late. You are one. Mom’s paying for college, and all you can think about is that you want to party. That attitude is really offensive to those of use who paid (or are currently paying) their own way. You say that the kids at BC are wealthy, sheltered, and judgmental. From everything I’ve read, you sound just like that, and more. If your dad is bipolar and your mom is overbearing and argumentative. Looking at the genetic equation, what exactly does that make you? They always say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Second, it’s time to get serious. Ditch your overinflated sense of entitlement. Adjust your expectations, because your days of a reality intern are over. You’ve been given an opportunity to get an education, and you just want to party. Nowhere (not in the US Constitution, the Bible, the California Constitution, or any other document) does it say you have a right to goof off and party. Remember when you graduated from high school? They call it “commencement” for a reason. It’s not the ending of something, it’s the beginning.
Third, stop living in a fantasy world and get your facts straight. You seem to have some idea that you can just go to a SoCal school and just party. Some people go to SBCC and try that, and there’s a name for them: Dropouts. Yeah, the weather is great in SoCal, but if you don’t take your college years seriously, you’ll find they are over very quickly, and you’re four years older and have nothing to show for it but a piece of paper (good for wiping one’s backside) and a lot of debt. SBCC is NOT “the number one community college in the country”. Going there is NOT a “great, responsible choice”. It’s a childish fantasy. A quick check of the facts will show that it’s essentially a party school with a high dropout rate, with a high student to faculty ratio. If you move there, your issues move with you. You are using faulty logic in thinking “if only I got everything I wanted, I’d do better”. Life doesn’t work like that. You don’t get to dictate the circumstances of your situation. And past performance is generally the best indicator of future performance. In short, if you goofed off your grades then, what makes you think you’re going to do better here in SoCal?
OK, you made it through the criticism. Advice:
-You’re in a 4 year college. Stick it out. Invest yourself in your future, and make the most of it.
-Rather than being bitter and wishy-washy, decide to have an attitude of gratitude. Suck it up and decide that you are going to graduate, whatever that takes. Drop the idea that college is all about partying, and make up your mind to work hard. If people there are judgmental, piss on them. Make up your mind to be your own person.
-Keep in mind you get back what you give out. If those other kids are stuck up, don’t let it phase you. Be yourself. If you have b*tchy friends, then find nicer ones. And be yourself. You’ll find you’ll be a lot happier.
-The social scene in college is very strange. Remember that these people will grow up eventually, and may be very different than they are now. Make lots of contacts while you are there. You never know how they will turn out. For example, I went to college with a long haired, dope-smoking dude from Hawaii named Barry Obama. He was a lot less presidential back then.
-Lose the fantasy that you can just quit and go and be happy whilst goofing off in SoCal. Make it work in BC. Tell yourself that failure is not an option. And you’ll find that it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
-Listen, I get it. I’ve been to college. I know exactly that the first semester was terrible for you. I remember your other posts. First semester freshman year is a shocker. However, you can still bounce back. Find some good friends who will be there to support you, and support them. The best way to have good friends is to be a good friend. Then do whatever you have to do in order to get your grades back up. With the right mindset, you can do it. Make it through the winters, and then keep going. Make the most of your time there, and you will graduate with a degree from a prestigious college, with many options in front of you. Coming back to SoCal to party at a JC will limit those options, and you’ll really have something to be bitter about when you’re older.
Hang in there.
Advice?
Oh, but we figured out why you are BC now instead of UCLA, UCSB, USC, CSULB, and whatever other “hip schools” you wish you were at now = you simply weren’t accepted…
Wow… national ranking for community colleges = what group wastes their money on creating this ranking system?
Can’t you find another forum to post on…
Just whining about the same things to the same people is pretty childish.
Personally, I think you should be looking at Florida State pr Florida International = you will find your same caliber at both of those places, just don’t expect to easily find a job afterwards.
I read your entire question. You know, I’m a father of three and have never laid a hand on my children, but this part in particular – “There were a lot of factors that played into it, but first semester I basically failed all of my classes. That’s what you get when you unwillingly ship me across the country” – made me wish someone had given you an old-fashioned spanking at some point in your life so you wouldn’t have grown into someone who thinks it’s OK to have that entitled, irresponsible attitude. It’s disgusting. Are you really a narcissistic, immature brat, or do you just play one on here? Honestly if I was making a sacrifice for my child to send her to a good college to get an education and she acted like this, I would be so disappointed. You have zero respect, not for your parents, not for yourself, not for BC, not for your classmates, not for the opportunities you have. You blew last semester, and then you have the audacity to blame your parents for it. No. I don’t believe your parents put you kicking and screaming onto a plane and send you to Boston. You went there. You applied there. There’s hundreds of other colleges in the US that you could have applied to, but you didn’t. Why didn’t you just apply to UCSB?
If your parents agree to pay for SBCC then they are more foolish than you are because they are older and should know better. They’d be doing the exact thing that parents who give their screaming toddler in a grocery store the candy bar just to get them to stop the tantrum. It’s very bad parenting. Let me tell you something else – your parents, they have friends too. You know what THEIR friends are going to think about this, about their brat of a daughter leaving Boston College because she wants to go to a community college in Santa Barbara to be around prettier people, party, and have nice weather? Do you have siblings? Do you care about the fact that you’ve wasted your family’s money?
My wife went to SBCC because she’s from that area. You are WAY off on your ideas about the college. It’s a good community college sure. It’s not the “best” community college in the country. People do not come from all over the world to go to there. Most people who go there are not brats living off of mommy and daddy and partying, they’re paying their own way. My wife got her cosmetology license at 19 and paid her way by working at a hair salon. She paid her way to UCLA and for graduate school, too. Have you thought about what the people who go there will think of YOU? A lot of folks would resent the little girl who wasted her chance at Boston College and was living in Santa Barbara for nice weather.
“The kids are most often wealthy, sheltered, and very judgmental. The people are pale and not good looking. ” You haven’t yet learned about irony, have you?
Honestly, if you were my child and had this attitude I’d give you 3 choices: 1) stay at Boston College, earn a B average or higher, and do not whine, 2) move home, go to community college, help out around the house, and do not whine or 3) do whatever you want with yourself, but do not expect a single cent more from me.