I’m going thru problems like i have Procrastination isuses andi can’t stop andits hard to change what your ways, when your use to being A Certain like i sayi want to act or become Journalist or whatever…but when i go back and Re read what i wrote i get lazy and when i read my mind tends to wonder andi get Sleepy and confused with what i am reading…so I’m having second thoughts and just thinking about going to a Trade school because at 23 i don’t know what i want i just want to yell Out…and my brain Feels lazy….and when i Read it feels as of i can’t really focus..or concentrate…and its like i have mixed feelings when it comes to going to College for Acting 1I’m going thru problems like i have Procrastinationissuses and i can’t stop and its hard to change what your ways, when your use to being A Certain like i sayi want to act or become Journalist or whatever…but when i go back and Re read what i wrote i get lazy and when i read my mind tends to wonder and i get Sleepy and confusedwith what i am reading…so I’m having second thoughts and just thinking about going to a Trade school because at 23 i don’t know what i want i just want to yell Out…and my brain Feels lazy….and when i Read it feels as of i can’t really focus..or concentrate…and its like i have mixed feelings whenit comes to going to College for Acting…and I Enjoy Gossing with people about the world we live in i get Happy debatin but i wonder do i have the love for it to do as a Career… like i like to gossip but when i see how What Celebs go through when going out side i feel bad because fans and media are swarming around them…For Instance Chris brown his Situation..and also i have a interest in Acting always have really but wasnt sure if i was gudenough…and by the way im scared to Be independent…its like im not sure if i want to go through with what i have to do…its one of those feelings you get when you do stuff u dont want to but you need a extra push…and at 23 i just think like damn why do keep going down this Same road…like Is my Manic depression taking a toll on me…and i wonder is my mom right i should just go to a Trade school and earn a good living..and get a Car…so i can do all those nice things i say i want
But its like i ask myself is that what i really want to do…because she tells me i will be waiting for a while before i can get a Job as a Journalist or whatever i will be working as a Mail person or something..and i just tell her i like to debate about todays Worlds and talk about celebs but then its like why am i obbessed with there lifes i have my own life to live..it feels like i have No Life…and when it comes time to sign up at a community college i procrastinat and make up excuses and its sad..and im going to be 24 this year..with no body to celebrate it with…and it feels like i just dont fit in at times..and it feel like my High school past is Haunting me and i will Relive those same years in College…like i wasnt a Lame but i just had fake Friends…and i feel like i should live in Los Angelas or new york like ive been to new york and the Vibe there is just so chill and its just diffrent .compared to here in Detroit Mi