Affiliate Marketing Secrets

I am so bored and angry with myself. I have no job, not studying, I have had depression for almost 2 years. I am always so fed up with myself. I am done feeling sorry for myself! I want to take action! I have tried this several times….. I have the worst self esteem which after job interviews & pressuring on the post situations I go home & cry about what a failure I am.
I can’t build my self esteem. I literately just hate myself & continuously look at my flaws. & these flaws makes me who I am & to be honest I wouldn’t want to change… But I am constantly worried if people think im a dorky loser and no one wants to hang out with me. Hence why I don’t have a bf/gf
I have tried 2 courses & hated them so I dropped out.
So it’s the 10th of march here in Sydney Australia. I want to start a course! like this week! Nothing online! I want to go into a college/tafe/uni what ever & give something else a try….
But we are already in the middle of semesters =/
I don’t want to wait! I am so bored & angry with myself! I have so much anger I can’t release it. I am so frustrated in so many ways!
I can’t get a job………. I will probably try a club sport soon.. my mum said she will look into it.
Anyone able to give me any recommendations?
P.S. If anyways is going to refer me to a councillor or something go **** off I am not talking to no professional about my problems….. & also any religious bible jesus preachers u can go kill yourselves too… God is not the answer you clearly dysfunctional people.