Affiliate Marketing Secrets

Ok, so don’t report me this is a serious thing that i have been thinking about. If you are easily offended please don’t read on. 😀
Heres how i wish farts happened…..It would be great if every time a person farted, a lot of foul smelling powder blew out, different colors according to what you have eaten.
Now think, people shopping, walking along the street would be blowing powder all the time, it could never be secret, and you could never blame someone else, because you would be covered in brown powder!
This opens up a new market for me, i start making pieces of cardboard covered in adheisive, whenever you feel a fart coming, hold the cardboard behind your buttox, the powder will stick to it and you can do what you please with the cardboard, throw it away, keep it, reuse it even!
Does anybody wish farts were like this?