Affiliate Marketing Secrets

hello, Yahoo’ers, I have to make a presentation for my French class and i have this task, but I don’t get it anymore since I find French to be hard, so i need to have 1 good mark for French and then I can drop the whole class, so could someone translate this to good French
(yes, i know i won’t learn anything from this but I will drop the whole class anyway)
NO GOOGLE TRANSLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks in advance, here is the text:
Coca-Cola is a popular soft drink, it plays a big role in our culture due it’s wide availability, there is a 98% chance that it is available at the nearest shop. Coca-Cola is available in every country in the world with the exception of Cuba, North-Korea, Sudan, Iran and Burma. Coca-Cola is known for containing lots of sugar and due it’s symbolism of America and pairing together with fast-food it is also widely known for being junk-food and a drink for fat people. Nobody knows what Coca-Cola contains exactly, but it is known that it contains: caffeine, sugar, carbonated water and caramel but the exact composition and recipe remains secret. only 5 people in the world know the recipe and they never travel together to increase the chance that they won’t die all at the same time. Some people say it’s secret to remain the head of the market while others say it’s secret because of disturbing contents that is might hold.

Coca Cola used to contain traces of Cocaine – hence the name.
That was taken out years ago because of the laws.
People with allergies, people who have children and also Muslims and other faiths
have previously contacted the company Coca Cola who have always stated that there
is no alcohol added to the drink, if it was in there it would be a natural product and
not something added or fermented on purpose.
I’m sure they are regulated by the food commission or something, but because of all the
hype today that the secret recipe is out and because an ingredient states clearly
Alcohol 8 oz.
I would like everyone that is bothered to petition them to check for alcohol content on
this drink.
There is no question that it is addictive – the question is why?
Before you say that it is such small quantities it does not matter.
It is our decision and the label should clearly show all ingredients
for allergy and health reasons etc…
Why should they get away with keeping the truth about what’s in it
a secret? It may be marketing hype but people have right to know
now this ‘secret recipe’ has come out – and we don’t want to know
from the Coke company nor from some food agency that’s been paid off.
Someone else should check it out – maybe on TV live or something?
Who’s with me?