Affiliate Marketing Secrets

I am searching for 3 small investors to help start a newspaper campaign. Help me and my small group of independent agents start the year off right. We are all commission sales people, with small families/some of us signal parents. We help retired Veterans pre-plan their future funerals. They served this country and get a Burial Benefits (Cemetery plot or niche at National Cemeteries). At this point there is No Government Sponsored Mortuaries. All of these Vets are willing to start their small plans. Our small group helps them with their choices. We need to let these Veterans know of their benefits. So please let me know who is willing to invest $800.00 with a return of %5 in four months or sooner?(the money is for the ads in the newspaper) Let me know miranjohnson@gmail.com
At Your Service www.veteransburial.info

Im still young, 19, and have studied but not much. (Advanced Diploma in Marketing and Event Management)
I am an excellent worker and have excellent management skills as well as fantastic people skills.
I would love to find out which European country would be the best.
My grand mother is Austrian and was born there but is now deceased, my Great Grand Father is English and was born there.
I am both an Australian and New Zealand citizen and am happy to move over on which ever passport is easiest for me to make the move.