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hi, i am 20 and when i was younger i wrote this diary account sort of thing of my life – which was not a conventional one lol and it’s come to about 150,000 words – which is longgg. ive been scrolling through it now thinking how crazy i was as a teen and although i wouldnt want to publish it as it is now i have taken bits out of it to make chapters based around the same happenings.
i would like to publish something from it actually just because there are bits of it i am proud of creatively and i would like to communicate some of the messages in there to young people. i am on about 40,000 words, my issue is, it’s kind of in a biography style while i explain my life style in the past tense but then i like to go into the present tense when i am using a lot of dialogue and going into the scene – as if i am looking back on the time and the reader can get drawn in to what is ‘presently’ happening. can i do this though? i don’t think i’ve ever read a novel which does that, does it like defy the laws of authorship or something?
Also i have no idea how to go about seeing if i could publish it…it will be a novel surrounding mental illness and the behaviour of young girl who immerses herself in a dangerous life at night, whilst still at school, she escapes the madness via a loving relationship which becomes abusive and i am unsure how to end it because the situation is still open…so it’s based around the truth but to make it interesting and less painful to write i’m going to fabricate some of it…but i don’t know what market to aim this at and if i should bother at all…it feels like it could be a bit self indulgent and like no one wants to read about any of that anyway…but writing is the best form of therapy i have found, anyway i would like to hear opinions! the possible titles i have come up with so far aree ‘Secret life of a Cambridge school girl’ (pun on ‘secret life of a london call girl’ – because it’s a similar story), ‘Stockholm Syndrome begins in London’ or ‘Becoming Dolly’ – which focus’ more on the abusive relationship part of the story. anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks, Laura

This is the private diary of a Viagra housewife…
Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
Day 2
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven’t noticed.
Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson’s Column and burst into tears.
Day 4
A miracle has happened! There’s a new drug on the market that will fix his ‘problem’. It’s called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.
Day 5
What absolute bliss!!.
Day 6
Isn’t life wonderful but it’s difficult to write while he’s doing that.
Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I’d like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, have to admit it’s very nice – I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.
Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I’m also getting a bit sore down there.
Day 9
No time to write. He might catch me.
Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I’m hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he’s washing the Viagra down with neat whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over….
Day 11
I’m basically being screwed to death. It’s like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He’s a complete pig.
Day 12
I wish he was gay. I’ve stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has
become dangerous…
Day 13
Every time I shut my eyes, there’s a sneak attack! It’s like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that Oops, sorry thing again, I’ll kill the b**tard.
Day 14
I’ve done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him more horny. Help me!
Day 15
I think I’ll have to kill him. I’m starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won’t go near him and our friends don’t come over any more. Last night I told him to go and f*ck himself and he did.
Day 16
The b**tard has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.
Day 17
Switched the pills but it doesn’t seem to have made any difference…Christ! Here he comes again!
Day 18
He’s back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!

Diary of a Viagra Wife
Day 1.
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.
Day 2.
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven’t noticed.
Day 3.
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.
Day 4.
A miracle has happened! There’s a new drug on the market that will fix his problem. It’s called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.
Day 5.
What absolute bliss!!.
Day 6.
Isn’t life wonderful but it’s difficult to write while he’s doing that.
Day 7.
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I’d like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, I have to admit it’s very nice – I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.
Day 8.
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I’m also getting a bit sore down there.
Day 9.
No time to write. He might catch me.
Day 10.
Okay, I admit it. I’m hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he’s washing the Viagra down with whip cream and whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over….
Day 11.
I’m basically being scr£wed to death. It’s like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He’s a complete pig.
Day 12.
I wish he was gay. I’ve stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous …
Day 13.
Every time I shut my eyes, there’s a sneak attack! It’s like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that Oops, sorry, thing again, I’ll kill the *******.
Day 14.
I’ve done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him h-o-r-n-i-e-r. Help me.
Day 15.
I think I’ll have to kill him. The cat and dog won’t go near him and our friends don’t come over any more. Last night I told him to go and f… himself and he did.
Day 16.
The ******* has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.
Day 17.
Switched the pills but it doesn’t seem to have made any difference… Christ! Here he comes again!
Day 18.
He’s back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the telly all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!