Affiliate Marketing Secrets

Well, this is a very vague and obscure topic, and I know how difficult a question it is to answer, being right up there along with ‘What is the meaning to life?’.
I have always been rather ‘introverted’ (reflective and taciturn with a tendency to avoid expending effort) and I do not mean ‘anti-social’ or awkward. I just simply mean that I am contemplative, and have a relatively clear understanding of who I am. I am very mature and often find that it’s difficult to enjoy the things most people do.
Where I am finding difficulty, is that I have no way to know what is more ‘real’ and actually matters in development as a person. I tried personality theory (socionics, MBTI), and I’ve tried meditation, and they never seem to have information on what actually matters in life. I feel tugged between two ideals, a life of meditation and obscurity or a life of external achievement only to possibly find that it means nothing to me. I have tried my best to find answers on my own, but the arguments justifying an esoteric life seem so insubstantial and incoherent, and they seem to simply be a series of eloquent descriptions of ‘enlightenment’ with no certainty of whether they were made-up.
The arguments for living a productive life contributing to society and facing endless competition seem equally absurd, and they undervalue how tangible the mind can be, and completely ignore the value of subjectivity (a feeling of accomplishment/happiness) instead placing a huge emphasis on ‘jumping through hoops’.
The biggest issue I have, is simply that I want to find a productive and comfortable niche, but in order to do that I need to identify which reality matters more. I have no solid evidence for internal or external experiences being more important. I often put off asking questions like this because most people wouldn’t see the point in asing them.
I have always been mature and intelligent, and quite skilled, but rarely had any need to use my skills or even show that I have them to other people. I have never had ambition or any competitive spirit, and in general, I prefer solitude because I find most conversation/interaction to be tedius and boring. Most of the people I know are very childish and easily swept away by hype, but at the same time, I question whether I’m the child throwing temper tantrums because I don’t like what they do.
It is a very common struggle in literature, and in all honesty, I have yet to find another person at about the same place in their journey, and seldom found someone mature enough that I can look to for answers. I don’t seek reassurance; I find it in my solitude and reflections. What I seek is external evidence, rather than mere concepts embedded within stories. I am the kind that cannot be content with the normal standards of success, and yet, seeks a niche where I fit comfortably and can be myself. I do not have many material needs, but at the same time, I find that the only reason I speak is because I dislike the silence of knowing I don’t have to.
I am simply looking for something to apply myself to that I can believe in, and that won’t leave me ignoring either the external or internal world I experience. I find all too often that I don’t feel a need to do anything unless it is necessary, and that I do a lot of unnecessary things because I genuinely want to understand the world and my place in it. Even in writing this, I have contemplated its deletion simply on account of it seeming an unnecessary addition that will likely leave me where I started.
I have also considered that I’m possibly mentally unsound, and yet I find that stress has little power over me, and that I do not worry or fear like the people around me. Is it that I simply cannot enjoy what those around me do, or is it perhaps that I have grown beyond such trifling materials and shared interests? I have found that what I want most is not so much answers as perspective. I know where I am in relation to those around me, and I know myself well, but I do not know my exact position in this journey we call life. I simply want to know where I am and where I am going, not the direction I am going versus the direction they are going. Please be aware that I have deeply considered all the possiblities and implications of what I know, but I have no solid reference point by which to map them out.
Where is there something which doesn’t require pure faith in its reality? I simply seek to know where to find truth, rather than opinion; knowledge, rather than facts and figures; and certainty, rather than possibility.