Posted on 11 August 2012. Tags: 2 girls, attending college, college, concert, ex boyfriends, female friends, great friends, metalheads, one of the boys, one of the girls, one of the guys, problem, snobby, social niche, sort
Ok, so I had just started college and was having trouble finding my social niche. Eventually I found a group of (male) metalheads that I fit in with perfectly. We became great friends, but one of the boys wanted more than friendship. I insisted we remain friends. Now, not attending college with us, were 2 of their close female friends. They were very snobby and rude around me. After a concert we had attended, the 2 girls spread rumors that I had grabbed one of the guys’ crotches in the pit. Rumors started flying, and now I lost my “friends.” One of the girls’ ex boyfriends had been in the same situation (sort of) and he began talking to me, and we eventually became great friends and we are now dating. Now, the problem is, the guys of that metalhead group are toxic around him, the girls of that group are toxic to me. We see them almost every week at a friend’s band practice, and the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. What should I do to deal with this?
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Posted on 07 March 2012. Tags: City, close friends, closest friend, college, dick head, Facebook, friendly city, friendships, great friends, guy, Life, professional relationship, social person, solid group, Thursday
Im a freshman in college in a big city. But its not a college friendly city. I feel like I literally have no friends. Im not a complete anti social person, its just that many friendships have drifted away. Especially since I dont live on campus (i live 25 min away by subway downtown in a university affiliated housing. It has like 1% of all the students at my college)
There was a group on facebook for my class. Literally all my close friends in the beginning of the year were from that facebook group (we chatted over the summer and stuff). Without that group, I would have had literally 0 friends the entire year.
My closest friend ever at this school was a guy named Steven. We got along so well and we were such great friends. So close to the point where we actually dated. Long story short it ended badly because he was horrible at communication. He was too immature to discuss a relationship, even though we literally in one. Just not officially. He never spoke to me again after i told him we were a mistake. (i said that because he was being a complete dick head to me and very rude) That was a little past the middle of september when we broke up
When I compare my life back in September, to now, its completely different. Back then I had such a busy social schedule. I was never ever alone. If I was alone, it was like for an hour or two max per day. Literally. I had people constantly texting me to hang out. I just had a solid group
No one really contacts me to see how im doing. I mean, I have one friend that contacts me a few times a week to eat meals with her and chat. Then I have another that contacts me like every other week or so to see how im doing, but other than that no. One girl who I thought i was close with, is now mainly a professional relationship. I am president of a club, and I am essentially her boss. So when we talk, its just about the organization and responsibilites.
My roommate is not mean, its just that we never talk.
Its just so lonely and isolating here. No one on my floor talks to me because of the breakup with Steven. Steven is the most popular guy on my floor, and they all side with him. This is such a terrible thing to say, but I feel like I could drop dead in my room, and no one would notice. I mean, literally no one on my floor has talked to me since last semester except for two people saying hello.
Its not like i have a huge problem with this lifestyle. I mean, its pretty productive because I have more time to devote to my extracurriculars and my non-profit job. But still, when I see like on facebook and stuff how social everyone is compared to me, its kinda depressing. Even just hearing Steven outside my door in the hall with his friends, and all the parties they have in his room make me feel a bit excluded.
I tried making plans with a “friend” (though clearly she aint my friend) for last thursday. At that point we had seen eachother ONCE since November. And that one time was just dinner for a half hour. So I texted her about plans. She said “sure thing. dinner thursday. text me thursday girl!” then i texted her on thursday at noon about dinner. She never responded. Ive given up. I just cant extend myself to these people anymore. (its not just that. she is friendly with Steven now, and ever since that she hasnt talked to me)
I feel like Steven is the queen bee, and im the complete opposite. He is so popular and everyone adores him. Boys and girls. Yet I definitely dont get that attention…
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