Affiliate Marketing Secrets

Im going to be honest I have not been the good guy but what i need is honest answers. Me and my girlfriend have been together almost 9 years and even though i love her i have cheated throughout these years a lot. We have a son together who is now two. Couple of months ago she admitted to having sex with someone else out of anger (after once again catching me affiliating with a girl I cheated on her with multiple times) . After realizing now after all this time that i don’t want to lose her and i want to settle down, move in together and raise our son I’ve become insecure. Im always thinking now why isn’t she texting me back, why hasn’t she called me in X amount of time, where is she? etc etc… It’s weird because when i was cheating i didn’t think of ANY of this. I didn’t care didn’t even want to be on the phone with her for more than 1 minute.This is due to me talking to various girls and not caring, but now that im focused just on her its hard. I think my problem is because I know ALL the stuff I’ve done behind her back(which is A LOT) and i’m afraid now im going to be played. She assures me that she loves me and wants to marry me too but i think its my own guilt that’s playing me right now. What do I do? just take it one day at a time? learn to trust? I’m really trying to get my act together PLEASE HELP