Affiliate Marketing Secrets

Let’s start at 5:00pm, an hour before the 2nd Coming of Christ and the Judgment of All Mankind is scheduled to occur, according to his brilliant numerology:
5:00pm = Everyone gets into their Sunday Best and goes to Chur- um…I mean, random parking lots and community centers all over the world to dance around singing “Hallelujah.Hallelujah.”
5:30pm = Last meal before the Rapture, funds are kind of tight so everyone will have to settle for Franks and Beans in the western hemisphere and just beans everywhere else. “Close your eyes and imagine it’s a juicy Thanksgiving Turkey, like the Israelites ate of the Mannah!” Camping will say.
5:59pm : Arms raised, hands joined with white knuckles, lots of crying and speaking in tongues…aaaaaaaaannnndddd…
6:05pm: ….arms getting tired… lots of people sneaking peeks at their wristwatches and pre paid cell phones …
6:20pm : Someone turns on the radio and flips through stations, listening for emergency reports of massive natural disasters….. nothing….. nothing… BBC football.. nothing… weather reports… top 40…nothing….
7:00pm : Evening News van crew outside the parking lot has went from snickering to belly laughing at the crowd , who is now milling around and thinning out.
8:50pm: Word is out that Harold Camping has been found dead in his broadcasting booth, dead from self inflicted gunshot wound into the brainstem. Around him are shredded pages of his personal bible , and scrawled on the glass of the booth in cupcake frosting are the words “DAMMIT I WAS SO SURE THIS TIME.”
10:00pm Camping’s family announces that an empty pile of clothes were found in Camping’s booth, and that they were closing the radio ministry and changing it to a Top 40 station affiliate, in order to pay off massive debts Camping accumulated these last few months.
12:00 AM 5/22/2011 : News reports start trickling in around the world of mass suicides of Campings followers, mostly overseas.
10AM 5/22/2011: Churches around the world have Sunday Service as usual, throwing in a quick word about “It does indeed say in the bible in several places that nobody knows when the end will come, just look at THAT idiot…” and life goes on.
The End.
What do you think?

Let’s start at 5:00pm, an hour before the 2nd Coming of Christ and the Judgment of All Mankind is scheduled to occur, according to his brilliant numerology:
5:00pm = Everyone gets into their Sunday Best and goes to Chur- um…I mean, random parking lots and community centers all over the world to dance around singing “Hallelujah.Hallelujah.”
5:30pm = Last meal before the Rapture, funds are kind of tight so everyone will have to settle for Franks and Beans in the western hemisphere and just beans everywhere else. “Close your eyes and imagine it’s a juicy Thanksgiving Turkey, like the Israelites ate of the Mannah!” Camping will say.
5:59pm : Arms raised, hands joined with white knuckles, lots of crying and speaking in tongues…aaaaaaaaannnndddd…
6:05pm: ….arms getting tired… lots of people sneaking peeks at their wristwatches and pre paid cell phones …
6:20pm : Someone turns on the radio and flips through stations, listening for emergency reports of massive natural disasters….. nothing….. nothing… BBC football.. nothing… weather reports… top 40…nothing….
7:00pm : Evening News van crew outside the parking lot has went from snickering to belly laughing at the crowd , who is now milling around and thinning out.
8:50pm: Word is out that Harold Camping has been found dead in his broadcasting booth, dead from self inflicted gunshot wound into the brainstem. Around him are shredded pages of his personal bible , and scrawled on the glass of the booth in cupcake frosting are the words “DAMMIT I WAS SO SURE THIS TIME.”
10:00pm Camping’s family announces that an empty pile of clothes were found in Camping’s booth, and that they were closing the radio ministry and changing it to a Top 40 station affiliate, in order to pay off massive debts Camping accumulated these last few months.
12:00 AM 5/22/2011 : News reports start trickling in around the world of mass suicides of Campings followers, mostly overseas.
10AM 5/22/2011: Churches around the world have Sunday Service as usual, throwing in a quick word about “It does indeed say in the bible in several places that nobody knows when the end will come, just look at THAT idiot…” and life goes on.
The End.
What do you think?

Let’s start at 5:00pm, an hour before the 2nd Coming of Christ and the Judgment of All Mankind is scheduled to occur, according to his brilliant numerology:
5:00pm = Everyone gets into their Sunday Best and goes to Chur- um…I mean, random parking lots and community centers all over the world to dance around singing “Hallelujah.Hallelujah.”
5:30pm = Last meal before the Rapture, funds are kind of tight so everyone will have to settle for Franks and Beans in the western hemisphere and just beans everywhere else. “Close your eyes and imagine it’s a juicy Thanksgiving Turkey, like the Israelites ate of the Mannah!” Camping will say.
5:59pm : Arms raised, hands joined with white knuckles, lots of crying and speaking in tongues…aaaaaaaaannnndddd…
6:05pm: ….arms getting tired… lots of people sneaking peeks at their wristwatches and pre paid cell phones …
6:20pm : Someone turns on the radio and flips through stations, listening for emergency reports of massive natural disasters….. nothing….. nothing… BBC football.. nothing… weather reports… top 40…nothing….
7:00pm : Evening News van crew outside the parking lot has went from snickering to belly laughing at the crowd , who is now milling around and thinning out.
8:50pm: Word is out that Harold Camping has been found dead in his broadcasting booth, dead from self inflicted gunshot wound into the brainstem. Around him are shredded pages of his personal bible , and scrawled on the glass of the booth in cupcake frosting are the words “DAMMIT I WAS SO SURE THIS TIME.”
10:00pm Camping’s family announces that an empty pile of clothes were found in Camping’s booth, and that they were closing the radio ministry and changing it to a Top 40 station affiliate, in order to pay off massive debts Camping accumulated these last few months.
12:00 AM 5/22/2011 : News reports start trickling in around the world of mass suicides of Campings followers, mostly overseas.
10AM 5/22/2011: Churches around the world have Sunday Service as usual, throwing in a quick word about “It does indeed say in the bible in several places that nobody knows when the end will come, just look at THAT idiot…” and life goes on.
The End.
What do you think?