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What Can I Do About A Slacker Parent?


My parent was fired from her job 7 years ago. She worked little part time jobs at pubs, used up her savings, and borrowed money from anyone she could to support herself for a few years before she was eventually evicted and had to move in with some friends. About a year ago she started having trouble with her friends because she wouldn’t/couldn’t get anything more than a part time job earning barely more than $3.50 per hour + tips and not being able to pay her share of the bills. She was kicked out about 4 months ago and since I would not allow my mother to be homeless she moved in with us. We paid nearly $600 to have her belongings moved to storage out here and have been paying $150 per month for storage, $70 for her car insurance, not to mention the cost of food, power, and water since our bills have gone up. We have been barely getting by since she moved in and can barely afford to put any groceries into the house. Lets put it this way, our dogs are eating better than we are. I tried to make things a little less comfortable for her to encourage her wanting to get out on her own but it backfired. I started to buy less groceries (not that we could really afford them anyways but) and buy a few things for my fiancee and I to eat for lunch that I knew she did not like and would not eat but to solve that problem she went out and got food stamps and while she is putting a little bit of food in the kitchen I’ve noticed wrappers for things like honey buns and things like that in the trash can or on the coffee table that I know we didn’t buy but there is no box in sight which leads me to believe she is hoarding food in her room! (I don’t know for a fact but I’m not going into that over stuffed room to save my life, you can barely walk through it! It’s not dirty like filled with week old garbage but its just a small bedroom that she has crammed to capacity with a king sized bed, 3 dressers, a jewelry box, 2 free standing closets and nightstands. But even with all that furniture she has baskets stacked with laundry and cardboard boxes stacked on half of her bed filled with junk like books and magazines and pure crap. Seriously I didn’t think you could even fit that much stuff into this little bed room but I am beginning to think she is a hoarder.)
Since she moved in we have noticed things moving around, are being told how and when to do things, food vanishing much faster than it should be, the constant bickering that I should have bought this brand of soda because it is $.03 cheaper even though it tastes like a dog’s backside and mostly the lack of privacy for example when I left for work today I closed my bedroom door but when I got home for lunch the door was open and I know my fiancee left at the same time as me and hasn’t been home since. I’ve lost access to my own computer and barely get to use my tv after work. I just want to run through the house screaming MINE MINE MINE like a child!!!
She used to do the dishes every day and help keep the house picked up but that is steadily declining as well. She hasn’t had a single interview in the 4 months that she has been here and I began to worry that she was not trying to find a job at all. The past few days I began looking at the history on my computer and it is littered with nothing but facebook and dating sites with a job posting here or there every week or so. This morning she left a craigslist job add on the browser but when I clicked back it goes directly to facebook.
My fiancee and I are getting married in a couple months and I recently got an offer to move into a company paid home but I can not take her with me nor do I want to! I told her about the offer and mentioned that when she gets a job I’d be willing to help her with her costs if she takes over the lease of the place we are in now until she is able to fully support herself since we are not able to move until she is working but she didn’t respond at all. She simply just shrugged her shoulders and began flipping channels on my tv.
My fiancee is at her wits end with this and I am at a loss. I have no idea what to do with this situation or how to deal with her moving my things about and acting like she owns the place. How can I get her off her butt and into a job?

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