Affiliate Marketing Secrets

hi, i am 20 and when i was younger i wrote this diary account sort of thing of my life – which was not a conventional one lol and it’s come to about 150,000 words – which is longgg. ive been scrolling through it now thinking how crazy i was as a teen and although i wouldnt want to publish it as it is now i have taken bits out of it to make chapters based around the same happenings.
i would like to publish something from it actually just because there are bits of it i am proud of creatively and i would like to communicate some of the messages in there to young people. i am on about 40,000 words, my issue is, it’s kind of in a biography style while i explain my life style in the past tense but then i like to go into the present tense when i am using a lot of dialogue and going into the scene – as if i am looking back on the time and the reader can get drawn in to what is ‘presently’ happening. can i do this though? i don’t think i’ve ever read a novel which does that, does it like defy the laws of authorship or something?
Also i have no idea how to go about seeing if i could publish it…it will be a novel surrounding mental illness and the behaviour of young girl who immerses herself in a dangerous life at night, whilst still at school, she escapes the madness via a loving relationship which becomes abusive and i am unsure how to end it because the situation is still open…so it’s based around the truth but to make it interesting and less painful to write i’m going to fabricate some of it…but i don’t know what market to aim this at and if i should bother at all…it feels like it could be a bit self indulgent and like no one wants to read about any of that anyway…but writing is the best form of therapy i have found, anyway i would like to hear opinions! the possible titles i have come up with so far aree ‘Secret life of a Cambridge school girl’ (pun on ‘secret life of a london call girl’ – because it’s a similar story), ‘Stockholm Syndrome begins in London’ or ‘Becoming Dolly’ – which focus’ more on the abusive relationship part of the story. anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks, Laura

I consider myself completely heterosexual and am in a loving relationship with a woman, but I have always had this attraction to Transsexuals. I’m not just attracted to any transsexual, but ones that look and act more feminine than most women and you would have no idea they had a you know what, unless you saw it. I don’t ever see myself dating a transsexual, nor I don’t really want to hook up with one either. It’s just the thought of being tricked and taken control of that gets my juices flowing. I have massaged my prostate and it does lead to a very intense orgasm. Is that a reason for this attraction? To have a “women” seductively dominate me? To be clear, I am truly disgusted by the thought of kissing or having sex with a male. I just don’t find them attractive. Not even crossdressers. When I masturbate to this niche, I can’t watch any transsexual that I can tell is a male until they take their clothes off. I masturbate to heterosexual porn just as much.
With that said, I don’t consider myself gay, nor would I consider myself bisexual because I am solely turned on by feminine beauty. It just so happens that sometimes I’m turned on with a girl with something extra. Do you have any comments or what do you think I would be considered? Thanks for the replies.
I’m looking for genuine opinions and not “your a total fag” comments. I don’t tolerate anyone who offends people for their own satisfaction.