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Been married for 40 years. Spouse was in military for 27 years, I was there for all 27. SBP elected. We are now 62, 64. I want to get away but have been told I must stay. If I leave, I leave with nothing and adult kids will get nothing. I am tired of the threats. I want the last phase of my life to be good. I am on medicare disability (from an accident) and tricare for the drugs. 1) I understand that if I leave, I can keep disability and tricare for life as long as I don’t remarry. But husband says I cannot even date as it would be considered same as marriage. What are the written regulations. 2) I live in community property state and should get 50/50. But he says if I leave, the first to go looses out. Does that really matter? 3) When I bring the issue up, he gets very angry, the humiliation would be too much for him. I fear about what this means. I plan to stay in the area because my children are here and it would be impossible to keep my new whereabouts a secret. What do others do? 4) am I entitled to a military lawyer? If so, how do I access one about this without his knowledge? 5) He has hidden assets in a safe for the majority of marriage. Probably 50% of our assets are hidden there. I know how much was paid for these assets because I have kept the records for the last 20 years. But the market value must be much more. If I mention divorce, these assets will just disappear. Will the record I have of the payments for these assets be of any value in distribution of assets. Excuse me for thinking of money, money, but I am disabled and my children deserve some compensation for the treatment they also received. If anyone can answer, I would appreciate it.