Affiliate Marketing Secrets

im getting a bit confused on this ..im pretty sure its obvious but im
a person who second guesses my self all the time.
it sucks.
can you help mee please.

The following is an excerpt from Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash:
“All people have religions. It’s like we have religion receptors built into our brain cells, or something, and we’ll latch onto anything that’ll fill that niche for us. Now, religion used to be essentially viral- a piece of information that replicated inside the human mind, jumping from one person to the next. That is the way it used to be, and unfortunately, that’s the way it’s headed now.
But there have been several efforts to deliver us from the primitave, irrational religion. The first was made by someone named Enki about for thousand years ago. The second was made by Hebrew scholars in the eighth century B.C., driven out of their homeland by the invasion of Sargon II, but eventually it was just developed into empty legalism.
Another attempt was made by Jesus- that one was hijacked by viral influences within fifty days of his death. The virus was suppressed by the Catholic Church, but we’re in the middle of a big epidemic that started in Kansas in 1900 and has been gathering momentum ever since.
…Anyone who takes the trouble to study the gospels can see that the bodily resurrection [of Jesus] is a myth that was tacked onto the real story several years after the real histories were written. It’s so National Enquirer-esque, don’t you think?”

Not to seem full of myself, but I’m the kind of person who’s really kind and loyal and trustworthy to everyone. If a friend needed me to come pick them up somewhere at 3 in the morning, I’d more than likely be there for them.
To make a long story short, I have a group of friends who I’ve had sort of an on and off relationship since my junior year of high school. We’re sophomore in college now, but with time these issues (for me) have only gotten worse.
I stopped hanging out with them because I didn’t feel like I belonged in their “niche.” The things that made them laugh, barely made me giggle.
I guess because of this they’ve never bothered to invite me places outside of school, even up to now. Three of my good friends belong to this group, and even though I’m not close with the others, I still wanted to see them and hang out with them every once in a while.
I’d make attempts, asking what was going on and when, and they’d always say they didn’t know but that they’d let me know, come Monday to find that they’d been to the beach that weekend, or they’d been to so and so house and had a party.
When I told my friend how much it hurt that they never invited me places, she told me that it was a two way street if you want to hang out with people, and wondered why I waited for her to invite me…
…but I guess I was being silly by assuming that asking what the group is going to be doing was the reasonable thing to do if you want to hang out with someone.
She finally admitted that because we don’t hang out/talk as often, she never thinks to invite me to the places they go. And she doesn’t feel like just inviting me somewhere with them will change anything.
I pretty much ended my friendship with her and my two close others friends, because I am certain they feel the same way that she does.
Was/Is this the right thing to do? Do I need to move on and find new friends? Am I expecting too much out of people?

By no means am I contemplating suicide. I just want to clear that up before I begin.
I always feel as though I’m just in life for the ride, and maybe that’s the point of life, but I always feel like I’m just there, never really serving any particular purpose except to be a not-so-worthy competition to other people. I wouldn’t call myself gorgeous, but I wouldn’t call myself ugly, either, but my friends get all the attention from girls and boys, and I’m the one who sits in the corner and holds the drinks. I consider myself average-looking, and I’ve been told many times that I’m really nice, but people would only want to know me as a friend, and nothing more, which makes me believe that I have to be rude and reckless to get a boy to like me and acknowledge me.
I know my niche is writing, but whenever I try to be as best as I can be at writing, there’s always somebody there to cut me down like a tree, to make me feel like writing isn’t my niche, to make me question whether or not it’s what I’m destined to do. Maybe I try too hard to be number one — I always submit my pieces to writing competitions, like one at my school, for example, where I came out in the bottom of the barrel, losing the top prizes to people who don’t even like writing, while it’s the one thing I can see myself doing for the rest of my life.
I have never really won anything, either. I don’t really expect to win things, because I’m not a competitive person, but I always feel like I want to be recognized for my writing or for some other attributes I have, and I always strive to get something that I really, truly want, but there’s always somebody better than me, always someone who wants it more, always something standing in the way of being recognized or getting what I want. I tried out to be a peer leader at my school for my last year, and I lost the position to kids in my class who are, in my opinion, the worst role models, to people who get everything they want handed to them on a silver platter, to people who bullied me and my friends, to people who drink until they’re so drunk that they pass out or hook up — or worse — with anybody on whom they can get their hands.
Maybe I’m looking way too deep into this, but I always feel like whenever I want to be recognized, there’s something or someone standing in the way and inhibiting my drive to be recognized, and it hurts me. Sometimes, like in the case of peer leaders, I found myself so upset by the decision that I began listing reasons why I’d be a better peer leader than the twelve who were chosen, and I’m not the kind of person to list the bads in people. I try to see the good in people, and sometimes I just get so upset by them doing better than me that I tend to do this.
I’m seventeen, and I have my future ahead of me, and maybe what I’m feeling is a part of growing up, or maybe I’m just being self-absorbed and selfish, but this is all really bothering me. How can I get out of feeling this way? How do I get used to the fact that there will always be people better than me? Is this normal, or am I being selfish? If I’m being selfish, how can I get over this, because I hate feeling like I’m being selfish, but I don’t know whether or not I’m being selfish?
Does all this even make sense?
Thanks

By no means am I contemplating suicide. I just want to clear that up before I begin.
I always feel as though I’m just in life for the ride, and maybe that’s the point of life, but I always feel like I’m just there, never really serving any particular purpose except to be a not-so-worthy competition to other people. I wouldn’t call myself gorgeous, but I wouldn’t call myself ugly, either, but my friends get all the attention from girls and boys, and I’m the one who sits in the corner and holds the drinks. I consider myself average-looking, and I’ve been told many times that I’m really nice, but people would only want to know me as a friend, and nothing more, which makes me believe that I have to be rude and reckless to get a boy to like me and acknowledge me.
I know my niche is writing, but whenever I try to be as best as I can be at writing, there’s always somebody there to cut me down like a tree, to make me feel like writing isn’t my niche, to make me question whether or not it’s what I’m destined to do. Maybe I try too hard to be number one — I always submit my pieces to writing competitions, like one at my school, for example, where I came out in the bottom of the barrel, losing the top prizes to people who don’t even like writing, while it’s the one thing I can see myself doing for the rest of my life.
I have never really won anything, either. I don’t really expect to win things, because I’m not a competitive person, but I always feel like I want to be recognized for my writing or for some other attributes I have, and I always strive to get something that I really, truly want, but there’s always somebody better than me, always someone who wants it more, always something standing in the way of being recognized or getting what I want. I tried out to be a peer leader at my school for my last year, and I lost the position to kids in my class who are, in my opinion, the worst role models, to people who get everything they want handed to them on a silver platter, to people who bullied me and my friends, to people who drink until they’re so drunk that they pass out or hook up — or worse — with anybody on whom they can get their hands.
Maybe I’m looking way too deep into this, but I always feel like whenever I want to be recognized, there’s something or someone standing in the way and inhibiting my drive to be recognized, and it hurts me. Sometimes, like in the case of peer leaders, I found myself so upset by the decision that I began listing reasons why I’d be a better peer leader than the twelve who were chosen, and I’m not the kind of person to list the bads in people. I try to see the good in people, and sometimes I just get so upset by them doing better than me that I tend to do this.
I’m seventeen, and I have my future ahead of me, and maybe what I’m feeling is a part of growing up, or maybe I’m just being self-absorbed and selfish, but this is all really bothering me. How can I get out of feeling this way? How do I get used to the fact that there will always be people better than me? Is this normal, or am I being selfish? If I’m being selfish, how can I get over this, because I hate feeling like I’m being selfish, but I don’t know whether or not I’m being selfish?
Does all this even make sense?
Thanks

By no means am I contemplating suicide. I just want to clear that up before I begin.
I always feel as though I’m just in life for the ride, and maybe that’s the point of life, but I always feel like I’m just there, never really serving any particular purpose except to be a not-so-worthy competition to other people. I wouldn’t call myself gorgeous, but I wouldn’t call myself ugly, either, but my friends get all the attention from girls and boys, and I’m the one who sits in the corner and holds the drinks. I consider myself average-looking, and I’ve been told many times that I’m really nice, but people would only want to know me as a friend, and nothing more, which makes me believe that I have to be rude and reckless to get a boy to like me and acknowledge me.
I know my niche is writing, but whenever I try to be as best as I can be at writing, there’s always somebody there to cut me down like a tree, to make me feel like writing isn’t my niche, to make me question whether or not it’s what I’m destined to do. Maybe I try too hard to be number one — I always submit my pieces to writing competitions, like one at my school, for example, where I came out in the bottom of the barrel, losing the top prizes to people who don’t even like writing, while it’s the one thing I can see myself doing for the rest of my life.
I have never really won anything, either. I don’t really expect to win things, because I’m not a competitive person, but I always feel like I want to be recognized for my writing or for some other attributes I have, and I always strive to get something that I really, truly want, but there’s always somebody better than me, always someone who wants it more, always something standing in the way of being recognized or getting what I want. I tried out to be a peer leader at my school for my last year, and I lost the position to kids in my class who are, in my opinion, the worst role models, to people who get everything they want handed to them on a silver platter, to people who bullied me and my friends, to people who drink until they’re so drunk that they pass out or hook up — or worse — with anybody on whom they can get their hands.
Maybe I’m looking way too deep into this, but I always feel like whenever I want to be recognized, there’s something or someone standing in the way and inhibiting my drive to be recognized, and it hurts me. Sometimes, like in the case of peer leaders, I found myself so upset by the decision that I began listing reasons why I’d be a better peer leader than the twelve who were chosen, and I’m not the kind of person to list the bads in people. I try to see the good in people, and sometimes I just get so upset by them doing better than me that I tend to do this.
I’m seventeen, and I have my future ahead of me, and maybe what I’m feeling is a part of growing up, or maybe I’m just being self-absorbed and selfish, but this is all really bothering me. How can I get out of feeling this way? How do I get used to the fact that there will always be people better than me? Is this normal, or am I being selfish? If I’m being selfish, how can I get over this, because I hate feeling like I’m being selfish, but I don’t know whether or not I’m being selfish?
Does all this even make sense?
Thanks