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Sorry this is so long but I really need help. I know I’m going to get a lot of hate for this, for being a “disrespectful, angsty teenager,” but I need to get this out of my system and hopefully get some advice as well.
I’m 16, and I am convinced that my mother is the worst person in the world. She is a disgusting excuse of a human being. I know, how horrible that I’m speaking of my mother this way but hear me out, here’s why I hate her:
1. She is sexist. She says that women can’t survive without men in their lives because she thinks men are supposed to provide you all the money you need. She left my dad (who is twice her age) after taking all his money and moved onto the next old and desperate rich man. She thinks women are only there to cook and clean. She lets my brother sit around the house playing video games but she makes me clean all the time and her reason “because you’re a girl and that’s what girls do.”
2. She is racist. She hates everyone except her own race (Asian). Most of my friends are from other countries, which she always gives me sh!t for. My best friend is black and my mother says not to be friends with her because she is probably a gang-affiliated thief with AIDS. She says all black people have AIDS. She says all white people are arrogant and stuck up. I’m half white so she says I should be ashamed of myself.
3. She thinks I’m not normal and she’s always putting me down. I’m smart, ambitious and I’m not afraid to be myself like many other teens. But she says I’m a weird loser, and that I should be like a “normal girl.” A normal girl, according to her, is one who sleeps around, dresses like a slut and wears a tonne of makeup. She constantly tells me to “go fukc a man, you need it” (yes those are her words). She uses every single name in the book on me, calling me a btich, sh!thead, etc. She tells me she hates me and she often threatens me, saying she wants to kill me simply for being me. She sometimes slaps me, punches me, kicks me, scratches and pulls my hair.
There are so many more reasons why I hate her but those are the top 3. I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I’ve called the police on her twice when she was hitting me. Once when I was 6 (I assume nothing happened because I’m still here) and another time a few months ago. My mum cried to the police saying she was a good mother and lied about hitting me, then she called up all her friends to “testify” that she was a good mother, so they didn’t believe me. My life is a living hell because of this woman and she makes me want to kill myself. In my whole life, I have never called her a name to her face, never laid a finger on her, not even to defend myself, so I know I don’t deserve this. But lately I just can’t take it. When she talks to me I have to control myself and stop myself from lunging at her. I know that if I do, she will go crazy and probably beat me to a pulp. So now that I’ve vented, I would like to know how I can handle this efficiently and how to stay sane until I graduate next year when I’m 17. Once I graduate, I’ll leave.

I know this probably seems weird but I love discussions like this, we all have our views about things and part of me just wanted to talk about them. I never mean to offend anyone and if you don’t think you can talk about this then don’t. but my views always seem so different from other people and they even change over time. but right now I consider things even for men and women and always have, when i was younger the way I looked at things like this was much stronger then now. Back then I never understood other people I always thought “why even date anyone right now it’s not going to last we are so young” always seemed to me in school everyone was dating and it always seemed so stupid to me, there’s no way your going to be with the girl you dated in the 4th grade, 6th grade, heck probably not even in high school at all. isn’t the point of dating to be with someone for the rest of your life isn’t that the point of all relationships? and dating so young there is almost no way your going to find the one. Although to me that would be something amazing to be with someone that long if something like that could happen I would be in shock and awe of those two. With me I always wanted to do nothing intimate with anyone but my future wife I knew she was out there somewhere and I waited to remain faithful until I met her even if she doesn’t know me yet, I knew we’d meet one day I never wanted to tell another girl I love you, I never wanted to kiss another girl, I never wanted to do anything sexual with anyone but her, and I still feel that way today. I want to be completely faithful, but I learned in a world like this that would be nearly impossible. My views were so strong for so long things started to loosen up when I was 16 and half, then I met the world and I started to realize things were probably not going to work the way I imagined to me if I kept on thinking the way I did I would think badly of almost anyone. To me sex was something you only did with someone you love but then there are the people who have one night stands, who have sex with multiple people, have an open relationship, or have sex with someone you don’t love. yes I know a lot of the world does the things I will say but it’s just how I feel to me those people are whore’s even having an affair or cheating makes me think that person would be too, what one person not enough for you? to me even having sexual relations with too many people (sexual relations meaning anything at all considered sexual) does the same, if you can’t count that number of people on one hand that is. there are two kinds of whores and man whores to me, there are the literal whores who get paid for sex then there are the people who take sex to too much of an extreme by my means. but my views split for me and others I kept the views when I was younger for me only and hopefully my future wife but that’s probably not going to happen. to me having flings (flings meaning anything romantic with someone you just met or don’t love ie. kissing, dirty dancing etc.) makes you go towards being a mut/slut (yes mut is man form of slut sorry for being kindergarten here but women have a word that always slanders them and men don’t) With the way I use to think people like that I didn’t even consider people at all, now I do I just don’t like them or like to be around them or anyone affiliated with them at all. for myself though my views are harsher on me if i could ever shift my views more like this dating world I would only be able to have sex with two people but for the rest of my life I would regret doing that, I want to wait till marriage and it’s hard to be with someone who didn’t because most likely they won’t want to. but even in a situation like that things would be hard for me I always just figured my future wife would have the same views as me and the more I got to understand others I saw the possibility of that dropping to zero and I’m not just talking about waiting till marriage. but maybe I have too high of expectations, I probably do but we’re all different. when I was young I was told that some day you will meet your wife and your wife is suppose to be the person your suppose to be with forever. This how I think now i’m sure I would think differently if for example I had sex with someone who wasn’t going to be my potential wife because we broke up then I would think a lot differently and I really don’t want something like that to happen. but I just wanted to know what other people think about a subject like this how do you think about all of this, there’s no such thing as a whore? sex is a natural thing? it doesn’t matter? I’d really just like to know with reasons.

I dunno what happened. Freshman year of high school, things were fine. But this year…I don’t know what it is. Every conversation seems forced and I find myself avoiding them at times. I don’t text them much and I make up excuses to stay home on the weekends. These girls are all nice people, but I guess they can be immature at times. Sometimes it gets embarrassing because they are so unaware of how they act. They tackle people in the halls and shout obscenities, completely unaware that they are not the only people in the school. I know that it’s all typical high school stuff, you know, the penis jokes and what not, but they take it to the extreme and annoy everyone within a 1000 foot radius.
“AHhhhhhhhh!!!”
“stop raping my pencil, you slut”
*cackle* *snort* *giggle*
“It’s SOO BIIG! Sooo hard!!”
“Yeah, your BANANA!”
*more cackles*
I really can’t have a serious conversation with them EVER.
So, I kinda want to distance myself from them a bit, but I literally have no other friends. We are the “losers” of the school, which I really don’t mind except that I have no friends. I’ve tried making new friends, but…no luck. I’m not your typical popular girl, goody-goody nerd, theater geek, slut, pot head, or the-****-class-lets-hook-up-in-the-back-… kid.I can’t find a niche. Does anyone have any advice, or have you felt the same way?
***sorry to use all those stereotypes. I know it isn’t really like that, but i wanted to show how “clique-y” my school is.

I can’t eblieve it. She looks like shes 20!!!http://www.limelife.com/R/ResourceModule…http://mediatakeout.s3.amazonaws.com/pho…http://media.kansascity.com/smedia/2010/…http://images.dailyradar.com/media/uploa…
*cough* SLUT *cough*