Affiliate Marketing Secrets

Hi, people. I’d like to ask you a question:
What would you do if you feel like living is meaningless?
I mean, I feel like time is passing around me, and I’m here “standing quite still”, staring at it pass right through my eyes.
I may have depression, social anxiety (sociophobia), so I’m not good in talking to people, nor I can’t.
I don’t know what I like doing anymore, I’m always bored and tired.
I want to do things, but I don’t know what… It’s like everything I used to like now seem useless.
I’m a teenager. At the end of next year, I’ll try entering in a college. So I have only to the next year to do something “funny” before the “professional life” will actually begin.
I’m programming myself to change, I’m trying to change into someone who enjoys life.
I try enjoying life, but what is it? What’s enjoy life, what’s “Carpe Dien?” (seize the day)…
How can I enjoy something if I don’t know my likes and dislikes?
I feel numb… time is passing but I don’t feel it, I think I don’t feel nothing anymore…
I’m like a nobody occupying a niche… In school some people try talking to me… Since I got really “depressed” (about 2 years ago) I got antisocial and scared to talk to people. I had only one friend, and now he is away from me. I lost all my friends.
Now I’m trying to get them back, talk to people, but it’s really tough, and even doing that, I still I feel numb, and worthless, useless…
I have one last year in normal school, before study become work, and work becomes a reality, and “fun things” become “teenager silly stuffs, unacceptable to your age”.
I’ve never had a girlfriend, or even something similar.
I don’t know what is living…
I think for me it doesn’t matter if I’m alive or dead…
In any case, I feel like I’m a dead who is somehow living…
I began trying to change myself since a month ago. I got sick of all this, so since then I’m trying to do things I was scared to do before. Which means, get back my friends, talk to them, even though a Hi, and other few, small challenges but that’s not the point.
I try finding things that interest me, but I don’t know exactly how. So far I haven’t find a clue…
The only thing I actually enjoy doing is listening to musics from all over the world in many languages. Right now I’m listening to russian. So, I study languages as well, but I turned it into “work”, I got too worried about the work life, and so I found myself studying not more because it was fun, but because I had to, so I got bored , burned-out about it too, except the musics.
I feel after all, I’ll not even get a job, so… I’m destined to die all alone without having actually lived? I think this is my biggest fear… though I realize it happens everyday…
I see people who seems to be happy… traveling around the world, knowing new people, doing whatever they want to…
Why can’t I?
*** What would you do in such situation? ***
Please, please, don’t tell me “go to a doctor/counselor/therapy/talk to someone”, killing myself or anything similar, really.
Just try imagining yourself in such case, and if possible, try answering me by what would you do.
Just to be clear:
– I’m not suicidal, I don’t want, never tried and never will try to killing myself;
– I won’t go a doctor;
– I just want to find a meaning on life….
*Forgive my wrong english, my native language isn’t it.
Thanks for reading/answering.

I don’t have any real friends… I’ve switched schools numerous times cause of bullying and moving and financial issues my family had… Im a freshman in highschool but im currently going to a charter school specifically designed for people with behavioral issues, and/or depression/anxiety/mental health issues/disabilities. Most of the kids there are there for behavioral issues, which I’m there for depression/anxiety.. I’mkinda the outcast cause i dont act out like most of them do and i dont do weed or drink or any of that **** so aparently that makes me a loser.
I have a few friendly accuaintances i guess you could say, outside of school from past schools, but none that i could really call friends.. i have no social life whatsoever, party due to social anxiety and partly due to the fact i lost all of my middle school years, switching schools and homescooling, while other kids were making friends and finding their niche, and i was being a hermit all depressed hiding in my room.
I have no money to sign up for things at the rec center, my school has absolutely no activities to take part in, and theres no where to hang out around my house. I dont have my drivers license yet so i cant drive anywhere and my family is un-willing to do ANYTHING for me.
I feel like im stuck. all ive been able to do is make a few online friends, but that doesnt help much. it just keeps me inside on a computer more.
What do I do? I’m such a freaking loner.

I have a mild case of social anxiety. I am afraid to follow my dreams because I am scared of what others will say or think. I am surrounded by people who love me, but also by a lot of negative people who enjoy hurting others. My social anxiety is becoming worse and worse and it is now at the point where I don’t do the things I love or express my opinion on anything because I don’t like people laughing at me or spreading rumors about me.
I love the band Allstar Weekend but I don’t tell anyone because everyone I know likes rap and thinks that Disney is stupid (Allstar Weekend is signed to Hollywood Records, affiliated with Radio Disney). I also want to be on Radio Disney’s Next Big Thing because I love to sing and play guitar with my friends, but I don’t try out because I’m scared of what those negative people will say about me when they see me on Disney or hear that I would rather sing pop-rock songs then rap.
Also, when someone doesn’t like me, it’s all I can think about. Even if I know that they are not support of me and it’s not healthy for them to be in my life, I only think about them not liking me (I’m not one of those people who clings to bad relationships or feels unworthy or lies down and takes a beating, but I care if a former friend or someone I talked to hates me). It is all I think about!
How can I overcome this social anxiety? I’m tired of being excited by an idea, only to have it crushed because the thoughts of what others will say consumes me.