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I Am So Depressed Because Of This. It Is Ruining My Life. I Just Want All These Horrid Thoughts To Go Away?


Just last week there was a case of a 13-year old boy who had fell off of a boat and wound up stuck under the water under the boat. There were cops just meatres away from rescuing the innocent child yet they did nothing. All those people. The boy was under the boat for 40 minutes, in freezing cold water. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPpio2TMKfE&feature=youtu.be – the child is now dead. He had drowned along with hypothermia.
”EVERETT, Wash. – Witnesses say 13-year-old Austin Anglin was trapped underneath his family’s boat for about 40 agonizing minutes before Coast Guard crews pulled him out of the water. For at least some of that time boats from several agencies could do little more than sit and watch, frustrating his helpless loved ones.
“I looked over at the game warden’s boat and there were four people standing there in life jackets on the edge of the boat as I was telling them there’s a boy under the boat,” said Tony Edwards. “They did absolutely nothing.” ”
Another link to an article with another photo of the child: http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Austin-Anglin&lc=4172&pid=150925374&mid=4665413&Affiliate=heraldnet&PersonID=150925374&FHID=11420
”He was a wonderful young man who never complained.”
I’m actually crying right now as I am typing this message.
If I see anyone wearing glasses, has a skinny build, and looks like a ‘nerd, and acts like one, I immediately fall into depression, my stomach feels sick, I feel like going to bed and sleeping even if it’s mid-day, and it pretty much ruins the rest of the day for me. Whenever I hear of a story, especially if it is a child ‘nerd’ dying, I cannot help but fall into tears. I see all these suicide cases of ‘nerds’ (I mean that in a good way, no offense is intended) such as Eric Mohat, a boy named Jon, and so many others who were bullied so much they killed themselves, innocent-looking intellectuals with loads ahead of them. Or ones that are murdered, such as one case where one was beaten to death, and another strangled to death by the bully’s bear hands. I get nightmares, where I shall picture ‘nerds’ dying in plane crashes, where a blonde nerd is screaming his lungs out, one where there’s an accident involving a trampoline, slipped and whacked his head on the metal lining, dismembering him, his blonde hair painted red with blood and his head hanging by a thread (graphic nightmare which woke me up screaming) and an adult nerd being bullied so much by a gang that he screamed ‘stop it! stop it!’ went home, slit his wrists and hanged himself. Then I get nightmares of all these ‘nerds’, that died in real-life where their dead bodies are lying in pools of blood, their ghosts all rise, and come at me, screaming for me to save them, their eyes crying red tears of blood, before the ghosts disintegrate with blood and I wake up in cold sweat. This is literally ruining my life. I also have quite severe depression (which IS being controlled, by the way). Is there something wrong with me, and could anyone give me any coping advice? This is bothering me so much and I just want these horrid thoughts to leave my mind forever.

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