Affiliate Marketing Secrets

I am flying to Orlando,Fl on January 6, 2013 and am staying until around the 17th of January, 2013. I was born in California and have only been to a few other states (none in South or Midwest). In California the most we ever got in the way of weather was rain and a rumble of thunder (one or twice in my life. I am now mid twenties). What I am asking is:
1) What are the chances there will be a tornado in Florida when I am there? I know that geographically the state of Florida is in the South and the South (along with the Midwest) is famous for tornadoes. Someone told me that in winter tornadoes will never happen because of the cold weather. They said the Spring is the most common time of the year, along with Summer. But when I heard about the Christmas tornado outbreak (did it end up hitting Florida also?) I became worried. Please understand that I have never seen a thunderstorm let alone a tornado. So I am nervous.
2) I know that Florida gets tornadoes around hurricane season (spawned by hurricane), but are those waterspouts or actual tornadoes? In California we get waterspouts (fair-weather not tornadic). Has Florida ever had an F-4 or F-5 tornado? Like Joplin for instance or the Tri-State tornado? If so, I will be at a hotel and will have no basement for cover!! Isn’t the death rate 100% during a F-3, F-4 and especially an F-5 without a basement? I know Florida boarders Georgia, so the Panhandle probobly gets tornadoes, but what about Orlando????? In January?????
3) If a tornado did come (I pray to God one will not!!!) what can you do to stay safe and not blow away? When a tornado passes over a building or house does it always suck the objects or people out? That is what I am most terrified of. Being sucked up in the huge funnel and spun 200 mph!!! Many people are afraid to visit California due to our earthquakes, but tornadoes seem scarier to me!!!
I hope I did not ramble on, but I hope I will be alright. This is my first real time in Florida (besides as a baby) and I hope no freak storm will occur like the one on Christmas. Thank you for all of your answers.

There in the in the darkness of Egypt lie Sphinx, the heart of ancient Egypt. But there is something else that is hidden below the depths of the miles and miles of sand. A passage. Many explorers have tried to find that secret passage but have all died by either heat stroke or getting lost in the desolate desert. Its weird isn’t. People risking there lives to find a secret passage in Egypt. Well there is one person who was able to locate the ominous passage and find the sacred treasure. His name is name you won’t recognize in novels, newspaper or the computer. His name is Tornado Didle. And if you think that because of his name he wasn’t recognize in any kind of newspaper you’re wrong. Before his discovery, Didle lived a relatively poor life. He was a cashier who got at least five dollars a month. He lived in a trailer in a slum city in the Middle East. His IQ was a very mediocre 39. So because of all these poor things he said to himself that one day he would have the riches. He would have the immense loft. And most important, he would be recognized. It all started on a dark and rainy day when he went to the dumpster which was right next to his house. And in that dumpster was a copy of today’s newspaper. He started to read it to see what was going on in the world. He saw in one column that Manny Rochire died trying to look for a sacred passage in Egypt. He had heard of that passage before. On another column he saw that Gloomy Glooms, the super market he worked for was going out of business. “Great” said Tornado. “Where in the world am I supposed to get food? Tornado’s life was very unhappy. But most who knew him can say that all his life has been always been a living hell. His parents had died when Tornado was very young. He got put into an orphanage where he lived till he was 18. He had just enough money to get into a small college. Then after college, he needed money. Since he had very little information on his resume, no company’s would hire him. Luckily, a grocery store needed a cashier so that is where he got his job. He had to live on at least $0.50 a week. So of course since he was very low on money he didn’t have the most comfortable home. He was lucky enough though, to be able to live in a trailer. Many weeks had passed before Tornado finally snapped. He was sick and tired of not being able to get clean food. He was sick and tired that nobody cared about him. “I want to end my life” shot Tornado. He thought about getting a knife and stabbing himself but he couldn’t afford a knife at all. But then he remembered about the secret passage. He was bound to die there. But then he realized that he didn’t have any money to take a plane. But if he walked he would probably die on the way there. So he decided to go find the secret passage hoping that it would end his life. “I will journey tomorrow” he said. The next day he packed nothing but an old half drunken bottle of water. “Well if I’m going to die I probably should get one last drink“. After packing he said good-bye to the junkyard dog as he liked to call it. He lived near the dumpster so everyday for breakfast he would often be seen snacking on rotten apple cores and other various items to be thrown into the dumpster everyday. But today he skipped breakfast. He said his last goodbyes to the city, and then started his search or “suicide” as he liked to call it. He got out of the city in about approximately 30 minutes. It was a rainy thunderous day. Kind of ironic. Lighting was being thrown all around the sky. From the expression on Tornado’s face it looked like he could be thinking “please hit me please hit me”. He actually was probably thinking that. Finally he had reached the desert. The clouds had disappeared revealing the scorching red sun.