Affiliate Marketing Secrets

Up until the end of middle school, I had a nice, tight group of smart friends. I was in band school, as well as other clubs. I made all A’s without fail. But towards the end I started to become very concious about how I looked, and started only wearing hoodies because I thought I was fat and unattractive. By the time high school started, some of my friends split into different schools, and all I cared about was fitting in. I tried to dress like the popular black girls at my school (even though I am nothing like them, I’m what you call an “oreo”), I tried to act like them and hang around with them. But I still felt so out of place and lonely all the time. I cried often. I didn’t go out on the weekends. My grades were slipping and soon B’s and C’s were common. Sophomore year was a little better, but I still often felt lonely and wasn’t involved in anything out of school.
Now I’m nearing the end of my Junior year, and I’ve grown so much as a person. I’m a lot more comfortable in my own skin and with my appearance, I’m VERY outgoing and funny at school. I don’t care anymore at all about fitting in with “cool kids”. I still really like dressing well, and people know me for that. However, I’m still lonely. The friends I used to be close to in middle school are now very high up and successful, one is even number 1 in our class, while I’m all the way at 101 out of 446. I’m only in two clubs and I’m not very active in them. I have many acquaintances but not a solid group of friends. I often find myself walking or sitting alone, and I think people get the impression that I think I’m too good for people because of how I dress or look, but that’s not true at all! Most of the smart kids I see around in their little groups of friends, I’m so jealous of and would do anything to be friends with them!
I hate that I’ve let myself steer so far from where I belong, now I feel so lost and unsuccessful, with no true friends. I am nowhere near pleased with my GPA or class rank, and I hate that it’s due to me getting distracted and wanting to fit in, that I’ve gotten those grades. I wish I was in sports, & many clubs, & helping the community, & I wish I would have stuck with the smart, great friends I had before, as well as found more. Now we’re so apart, they’ve all found their niche while I’m the lost black sheep, and no one can even tell because of how confident and funny I act in classes, but really I’m so lonely all the time. I don’t know what to do, and I feel like it’s too late to make a big change.